I've had two differently distinct moments this week where I was required to exercise power within descriptions of duty and necessity. And both times it felt like I was abusing that power, that the mere utilization of it was Wrong. Calling attention to my authority (respect it!) through situation and language seemed to verge on inappropriate, that any hierarchical structure should exist as a theoretical parameter by which decisions are made, that its existence should be in the category of just in case, never necessary because all parties understand and make decisions accordingly.
Except that it was really pretty exciting. I maybe loved it a little. But not how I love ka pi duc or E.L. Konigsberg or baths or divine inspiration. I just love that it works. I'm tickled that there is a difference in behavior—a return to that which is expected—that can be achieved when necessary without being condescending or mean.
This has always been clear to me in standard situations based on experience and knowledge. Setting boundaries, clear expectations, that sort of thing. It's just so rare that I actually have to deal with the potentially negative side of power—negative to the person without the power—that I don't notice.
I think I'm amazed that no one just says "You're not the boss of me!"
Of course, if they did, I'd just have to respond with "Liar, liar, pants on fire! Am too!"
Posted by Ida at October 4, 2002 10:16 AM