That was my predicament last night at 9:47pm. I pulled into a gas station, all excited to use my spare tire--something I'd not done since 1988.
I got out of the car, pulled my hair into a ponytail and opened the trunk. In order to get to my spare tire and jack, the following items had to be removed from my trunk:
The wind was blowing so hard though, that as I was trying to manuever the spare tire without removing any other items from the trunk, the roll of craft paper fell over onto my left hip. Almost immediately, a well-dressed man got out of his car and lifted the roll from my hip and then stood there holding it.
"Thanks, but you don't have to hold onto that. I can put it on the ground."
"Ehhh, pardon me?"
Craft Paper man had an accent which I could not discern through the wind (but which entirely explained the well-dressed component). I thanked him again and took the paper from his hands. In a stroke of genius, I placed the roll over the mic stand and started fiddling with the jack, but it was hard-fixed in place in a dark corner of the trunk and I was having a hard time seeing.
"Can I help you?"
This time it was an Eastern Washington looking guy with a shabby haircut and a hat, holding a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, could you kinda yank that jack outta there for me?"
He did, after some fiddling, then offered to change the tire. I paused for a minute. I am woman. Can change tire on own. No need for man. I immediately reconsidered: why why why would I say no? Offering to help is a nice thing to do.
So I talked to him and rearranged my trunk while he changed the tire. I thanked him profusely after he'd finished and closed the trunk. He looked at the car, then at me. Then he said:
"I was walking along to my buddy's house, I passed you, and then I thought, 'maybe if I turn around and help her with her tire, she'll give me a ride.' But never mind. Have a good night."
I felt a little guilty about this, but also wasn't really prepared to give a strange man a ride to his buddy's house in the dark of night. I looked at the car where he'd been looking: clearly seen through the window once the trunk is closed is the Darling carseat. Aha! Man give up because think Woman have Child.
The age-old moral of this story: you can totally get people (men) to help you change your tire if the pre-amble to retreiving the spare features leaning over your trunk in low-slung jeans while wearing a sweater that rides up to reveal a bit of waist-into-to-hips.
(It's not like I did any of that on purpose. I am entirely aware of the unfair properties of Girl Ass. And I totally could have changed that tire on my own. Gonna have to remember that carseat trick, though.)
Posted by Ida at October 17, 2003 11:49 AMYou know, every singe time I lean over my trunk in low-slung jeans while wearing a sweater that rides up, I just get cold.
Posted by: at October 17, 2003 12:22 PMAnd "every singe time" means "every monkey time."
It's French. Look it up.
Posted by: at October 17, 2003 12:24 PMOf course, this would all be fine if you were willing to accept your rightful place in society as the barefoot pregnant stay-at-home-mom who can suck the chrome off a tailpipe. As things stand, however, I'm forced to question your commitment to your own ideals.
Not that I can talk, of course, since it appears that my decision to buy an apartment instead of renting one has led John Galt and friends to wonder, loudly and in public, how it is that Joshua Norton of all people is turning into a great big fucking yuppie. Or maybe it's less the apartment than the couch and the dishwasher. I can't tell exactly what the issue is since, naturally, nobody says anything directly to me about it. In any event, if I am, in fact, selling out my own ideals it's good to know that I'll be in such excellent company.
Not, you know, respond to your lighthearted post with a lot of gravity or anything. I know how tacky that is.
...I got rid of the cell phone, by the way...
Yeah.
Dude, if you get rid of the cell phone you have to tell people if you have another phone because sometimes people need to find the Girl. (I know I can find you through wi-fi.)
As far as ideals go: to say "no" to someone who is offering to help just because they're a guy and I'm cute is really similar to getting things just because they're a guy and I'm cute. There's still plenty of inequity in being a woman-sort in the good ole US and I'm not abusing any power or using it for evil.
It is also true that both of them might have helped just because they are nice people (although not as funny). And if that's the case, then saying no would have been really bitchy.
My ideals mostly involve finding ways that more people can be nice to each other more of the time (myself included in "people"). That and wishing people weren't so stupid all of the time. (And doing both of those things while looking cute.)
Posted by: Ida at October 17, 2003 02:01 PMNot saying that:
1) "Woman Have Child" wouldn't make man give up
2) He thought this far ahead
However, child-car-seat + no child actually present in the car could cause hitchhiking tirechanger to also think "married or involved with other person looking after kid."
Unlike me, who automatically jumps to, "Oh my god! What has she done with the baby?"
Kudos to you for recognizing that when people offer to do nice things for you, it is very good to let them. Granted, Mr. Tire Changing Guy obviousl had ulterior motives, but you learned him that sometimes when you offer to do nice things for someone, the offer itself can be its own reward, as is accepting the offer.
I still open doors for people, regardless of sex if I happen to be ahead of them. It's just a nice thing to do, and such a small gesture that few try to read anything more into it nowadays than "he was just being nice", which is all it was meant to be in the first place. Nothing more, nothing less.
I guess it's sort of a Zen thing...
Posted by: THE COMTE at October 20, 2003 04:57 PM