I'm sitting in a bookstore in West Seattle right now, which is exactly what I did at this time yesterday and will do through next Tuesday. I've got a chunky break between two classes at my current residency and I like to have something that feels homey whenever that happens. I also like to find a little homeiness even when there isn't a break, usually in the form of on-the-way-to or on-the-way-from a given class.
More and more, though, all I want is the homey part. Maybe it's the Christmas music in here, but it's really getting depressing that mostly all I want to do these days is write in longhand and think some thoughts.
Okay, not depressing, just disappointing. Every year my state of burnout dictates a new level of passion for ideas and exhaustion at maintaining the patience to implement them in actual classrooms. Multiply that by too many NPR stories on education and you've got holiday cheer.
In comes the two-week tradition: even though I'm in a highly corporate building, I'm really enjoying sitting quietly and working with an occassional scan of today's shoppers (completely different than yesterday's: today is all about women in their 60s out for a little snack and conversation; yesterday was quick coffee drinkers and one old guy). I can pretend that I don't like Christmas music, but I do, so that's nice, too. In just a few mintues, I'll be heading back to school to continue an exercise in manufactured personality (today we add scurvy words and symbolism). It will all go well, there will be inspried moments, but tomorrow it'll be just as slow-going for me to get out of bed. And then I'll come here and relax into some happiness.
But I can't let that trick me: just because I'm good at something and just because I mostly like it doesn't mean I should go and go and go and go and go.
The tradition coming up after these two weeks? Fountain walks and a little ice-skating. And then a little last minute script writing.
Ah, rambling. You never let me down.
Posted by Ida at December 5, 2006 12:19 PM