this imploding heart

i liked it

im having a bad day! its raing im wet and annoyed! my bags heavy and i have to go home again because i forgot my work for uni!

I am having a bad day because I miss my military husband and my family who live too far away!

I am having a bad day because i am trying so hard to lose weight and people keep making fun of me.

Im having a bad day because, i finnaly have a boyfriend and this one kid who liked me on and off for about 4 years, whenever he liked me i started to like him back, then he would like someone else, now that i have a boyfriend and his girlfriend broke up with him, he honomatically thinks im gonna be there, cause he's used to me being his rebound! I swear, its like the world doesn't want me to be happy! But i do love my bf, im just mad at this other person.

I failed my permit test, son of a gun!

Well the day before Christmas eve my best friend called me to make sure i didn't call her house because she snuck out of it to go see her boy friend, who is not that much older, I guess she told me that the cover up story was that she was at my house, but she either forgot to tell me, or i was to tired to remember. Well her mom calls my house asking to talk to her, when I say I think she should be walking home right now. She said "You think?" she asked me if she was over my house and I said no. Then my friend told her mom that she went to our other friends house. Her mom went to her house and said tell me the truth or I'll ask your parents. She said that she wasn't with her at all that day. (after her mom left her house my friend who's mother went to the house called her and said to tell her mom that she was at her house, but it was to late for that), then Im talking to her boyfriend online, and pleading why I didn't say she was here. I was always the cover up story and for this i didn't even remember. All of a sudden who else was at the door. My friends mom. She asked me If I knew anything, and if it had something to do with the "20 yr old boy" and I denyed it saying, "Idk, Idk, Idk," after she left my house I was petrified I don't lie to my parents but this secret wasn't mine to tell. The next day (christmas eve) my friend calls and says her mom found out everything, that she wasn't a virgin, that it was with that guy, that I lied and so did my other friend. Her mom had said that she was sending her boy friend to Jail, that she was going to be sending her to a school out of state. And telling her things like she has no friends, and that she's not her daughter. She telling me this balling her eyes out says she was thinking of commiting suicide and I had to talk her down. She didn't know where her mom and dad were, and asked me to come over and just to give her a hug. My mom drove me over and I told her everything. My mom didn't take it as bad as her mom did. Thank god. And now I can't really call her house on christmas day to say Hi, or Merry Christmas, because I lied, and I could just make things worse. I feel like this is all my fault, and if I were just to have told her mom that she was here, this could have prevented alot. One of the worst weekends of my life.