this imploding heart

sick of being tired,

sick of being tired, and Im tired of being sick.

I woke up at 2:30am on Monday night with dreams that didnt stop even after I was awake, and a terrible stomach ache. I was freezing, but it was too cold to get out of bed to put on a sweater or turn up the heat. So I lay in bed, shaking and shrieking to myself (mostly due to the dreams, the dreams were really the most disturbing part), thinking that this was it... I was finally going to go crazy. I called Matt, and the answering machine picked up. Im sure I just apologized profusely and hung up, but he called back, and offered to come over.

Such was the beginning of the 3 day long episode of my being ill, during the tech week of my show, again. Its happened this way (or similar to this, I was housesitting last time) for the last three show's Ive managed. Gillian thinks it may be due to stress, but I really didnt think I was getting stressed out this time. Im going to make a doctors appointment today. I hate going to the doctor.