September 16, 2002

All I'm ever trying to

All I'm ever trying to do is draw you a picture.

Friday night, dusk. This is an evening composed of pressing pause before hitting stop. I'm surrounded by empty jewel cases, or cases with the wrong disc in them. I'm doing my best to not even look at the records, because I know they'll be totally impossible to hear. There are a few instances where I can't resist the urge.

The really sad thing is that I don't have the dedication to the idea that a mix tape means anything. I'm not saying I never did. I did. Very much so, just not anymore. If I want to tell you you're an asshole, I'm not going to make you a tape of Ween's 'Baby Bitch' or Fairy Tale of New York (but a tape with these songs and many others about what a terrible person I was has been given to me. Sure, I'll make you a copy.) I just want to take everything worth listening to and trying to orchestrate it pleasantly.

Alisha and I are supposed to go to a party at Patrick's around eleven. I've already taken a shower and put on my party shoes but I can't bring myself to get dressed. I continue to sit on the floor in a T-shirt with the words "Schmezzle Inn....Schmagger Out" printed on it, a black half slip, an apron with floral print (I was also doing the dishes. Sure don't wanna get dishwater on my schmezzle schmagger shirt.) and baby blue shoes. I'm astoundingly comfortable.

I finish the first tape. Great. Alright. I play the first song. Shit.

so the sound quality is terrible. Almost unlistenable. I remember that I had recorded over something else on this one, fast forward to the next. Bad, still, but better than the first. -I need to buy some decent stereo equipment, but am totally terrified of trying to do it alone, as I see all electronics salespeople as spokesmen for my personal financial disaster.-

The phone rings, I buzz Alisha in. I pull on a dress while she sifts through cases with the toe of her shoe.

"Makin a tape?"

"Five tapes. They sound terrible and I had to make up names for several of the songs because I couldnt find the cases."

"Yeah? Oh well. ...That's kind of great, actually."

Posted by Sonya at September 16, 2002 09:32 AM
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