this imploding heart

everything new is old again

I left my house this morning in my red wool overcoat with the clasps and a scarf wrapped around to my ears. If I had it my way, I wouldn't even get dressed in the morning. I'd have giant safety pins to pin my comforter up around my body like a toga made of marshmallows and feathers. It would protect me from everything, and I wouldn't be afriad to rollerskate down the hill at top speed screaming the spiderman theme.

but instead, I woke up and took a shower, got dressed in the clothes I set out for myself last night, adding kneesocks at the last minute even though they don't match (it's too damn cold) and pushing my hair out of my eyes with a blue plastic barrette from a set of 26. My hair is getting long.
On my second north/south cross, we arrived at the corner at the same time. He has the kind of glasses and knapsack that make me think 'You and I could hold hands for a while until something went terribly wrong. It'd be nice.' It's always the glasses and the knapsack that do me in. He looked me right in the eye for longer than people usually do, and I looked right back until the blood rushing to my cheeks made me look away. We waited for the cycle of greenyellowred greenarrowyellowarrowredarrow Walk. He turned to me again and I thought he was going to speak. I thought to myself 'If he speaks to me, my response will be the first thing I've said out loud today. I don't even know this guy and he will own my first words of the day, Novemer 26th, 2002. '. He didn't, so neither did I. He walked right next to me the whole rest of the way. I wanted to stick my finger through the hole in his pantleg just below his left knee and say "I will fix that if you like, and I will leave it alone if you don't."

Hello Comrades,

Please do me a favor. From now on, when I mention needing to buy any appliance of any kind, remind me to go to Bartells Drugs first. You may remember the mini food processor incident of a few months ago. I paid 30 bucks for that damn thing. While shopping for teaspoon/tablespoon measurement instruments and a hand mixer last night, I found a comperable product for 7 dollars. I bought the hand mixer for 10 and an iron last week for 12. It's amazing.

I made cookies. They came out buttery and round and correct, as opposed to giant and flat and almost on fire. Thank you. Thank you.