(a self-indulgent birthday post)
1: when I was one, my uncle gave me a shirt that read "I'm Incredible!"
2: when I was two, I fell down the stairs in a walker and broke my rib.
3:when i was 3, I loved raw bacon. this didn't go over too well.
4:when I was four I began my refusal to wear socks.
5:when I was five, I was obsessed with death.
6: when I was six my aunt cut all my hair off.
7: when i was seven, I accidently pushed my nephew over, and my sister thought I did it on purpose.
8: when I was eight, I had a nervous breakdown.
9:when I was nine I wrote terrible rap songs. (It's not my fault. Hammer was big.)
10: when I was ten, I was on a park and rec softball team called 'Dickensons Insurance.
11: when I was eleven, I read all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, was obsessed with volcanos, and got in my first motorcycle accident.
12: when I was twelve, I agreed to be Jesse's girlfriend. We never spoke of it again until I broke up with him.
13: when I was thirteen I started drinking coffee, and got kicked out of Perkins for the first time. It certainly wouldn't be the last.
14: when I was fourteen, I loved Aerosmith's 'Love in an Elevator'.
15: when I was fifteen, I began driving legally and swearing like a sailor.
16: when I was sixteen, I was Rizzo in 'Grease'. Tiny was Cha Cha DeGregorio. We got in a real fight on stage once. It was hot.
17:when I was seventeen, I fell asleep at terribly inconvenient times, lost my car keys every week, and frequently forgot to wear shoes. I also went a year and a half without crying.
18: when I was eighteen, I started working at Amazon. I ate reese's peanut butter cups for dinner on a pretty regular basis and skipped around the block at full speed while Tim and Logan stood by the door and smoked cigarettes.
19: when I was nineteen, I spent several months lowering Paul through a hole in the ceiling. I also stopped wearing pants.
20: when I was twenty, I played spin the bottle with a watermelon on the floor of a shack in the middle of nowhere in a bridesmaid dress.
21: when I was twenty one, I saw fireflies for the first time.
22: when I am twenty two, I will kick your ass at trivial pursuit, punch someone in the mouth, tell someone a lie, learn something amazing, get terribly angry, drink a little too much, fall for something stupid, stick up for something I think is right, and make a lot of noise. I can almost guarantee it.
Posted by Sonya at January 24, 2003 09:40 AMHappy birthday, girl!
Posted by: Pascale Soleil at January 24, 2003 02:20 PMThanks Pascale!
Posted by: sonya at January 24, 2003 02:28 PMSonya's Hammer Era Birthday Rap
Yo, clear the runway for the best yet,
'cause here come the S-Jet,
throwin' shoes like muses, so no one refuses
her midnight cartoons is
droppin bourbon
to the curb n'
belly button don't disturb un-
less/you\want/to\deal/with\this:
zombie pirate fury that you can't resist.
Got a creamsicle moped runnin'
laps round yo' head
skippin' puddles like breakbeats,
eatin' paint chip lead*,
Don't let the pet duckling fool ya',
'cause her skills will rule ya',
got a shadow of a Rottweiler loomin',
she'll school ya.
Like rain fallin'
till your left mute and convivial,
think you can follow this pursuit?
Boy, you're trivial.
(chorus)
She's a Sonya fury on wheels,
and she's torching the roads
destroyer plane will reveal
how your fool heart implodes
Ahhhhhhh, yeah.
[insert freestyling, breakdancing, maybe climb on some furniture and tackle someone. Repeat.]
*she doesn't really eat paint chips, but you know, whatever rhymes
Posted by: Jeremy at January 24, 2003 02:54 PMJeremy. That is possibly the best thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.
Posted by: sonya at January 24, 2003 02:57 PMWow! And check out those hammer pants!
Posted by: yukino at January 24, 2003 03:02 PMYes, Happy Birthday! Although I do not have anything as cool as a rap to hand you. BTW is it today or tomorrow? I have it in my Book Of Forever as tomorrow, shared with the Queen of Loose Slots.
And you might be able to kick my ass at arm-wrestling, but you will get your's WHUPPED in Trivial Pursuit -- Ah Gowrontee It!
Then you'll probably want to punch me in the mouth...
Posted by: THE COMTE at January 24, 2003 04:34 PMOkay, that birthday rap was really good.
Posted by: Josh at January 24, 2003 05:02 PMJeremy, I'm so glad I got to meet you, because now that rap EXTRA SPECIAL rocks.
Bon anniversaire,
Nos voeux les plus sinceres,
et que quelsques fleurs
vous apportent du bonheur
(some line I forgot)
et que l'an finit
nous soyons tous reunis.
Pour chanter encore,
bon anniversaire!
You are a rockstar. Give the snowglobe a shake and pretend you're there with me, and we're walking down Michigan Avenue drinking coffees and watching the snow fall.
Posted by: freesia at January 24, 2003 05:08 PMand to think, I knew you when you were only a wee bairn. damn, you're getting old now!
love ya. see you soon. happy (belated) birthday!