or maybe it's that I'm getting fantastic at cutting my own hair. That's sexy, right? Home haircuts? Okay.
So there's this kid in my class who likes to talk. To me. A lot. A whole lot. More than I can stand Lot. Once he found out that I own a scooter, there was no end to the subject matter. Gas mileage, CC's, helmet laws, comparison shopping, blah blah blah. From the moment I sit down until I say something like "I'm sorry, I really need to study." which is always the honest to goodness truth. I didn't pay 300 bucks to sit here and talk to you twice a week, sweetteeth.
He's nice enough, but he's kind of lacking the social graces that tell a person when to shut up. He's also deaf, which means that the lip reading/interpreting makes any conversation twice as long. It certainly doesn't help that I have a hard time interpreting regular mumblers. The conversation goes like this.
him: "Hey Sonya, How many thick trees does your scooter have?"
me: "What?"
him: "how many sneeze trees does your scooter have?"
me: "Sneeze Trees?"
him: "CC's"
me: "Oh. 40."
him: "What?"
me: "Four Zero. Forty."
and so on and so forth. All this while I am frantically trying to memorize the formula that converts percentages of numbers into numeric decimal parts. It makes me foam at the mouth.
So yesterday in the middle of a quiz, he passes me a note that reads "Give me your phone number/email address."
and I think about just not writing back, but he keeps staring at me and pointing at it when he catches my eye. So after a while I write back "Sorry. See you Wednesday.", because I thought just plain old "No way! You'll torment me endlessly! I didn't pay to be tormented!" would be rude.
he catches me in the hall and asks me why not, and we have to have a conversation about how I'm a private person who doesn't like to mix up the different portions of her life. He asks how I ever get my homework done then, if I don't do school stuff out of school. I almost hit him in the mouth.
Okay, all trauma averted. Everyone's happy. Hooray. Walking past the QFC side entrance where there's always a different guy with a different sign playing on the "You were able to buy food, give me money" guilt. So today's guy aims his sign to follow me as I walk past. I ignore the sign and smile at the guy. He asks if I have any change, I respond that I do not, he asks God to bless me, I return the favor and continue walking up the hill. A few seconds later he calls something out to me so I stop and turn around.
me: "What?"
guy: "Mrsosigboveegssis!"
me: "One more time?"
He rolls a few steps closer to me. There's a guy on the curb behind him waiting for a cab and watching me. Sign guy speaks again:
"you got real nice legs. You don't see them that much these days."
guy waiting for a cab's mouth drops open.
me: "Thank you. Goodnight."
Posted by Sonya at February 11, 2003 08:49 AMTell Deaf boy you think Gallaudet should have a hearing president, AG Bell was right about Deaf people, and that Total Learning would work if all those BiBi fucks would just shut up and learn to read lips. Then ask him why he never learned cued speech or, at a minimum, SEE2. I guarantee he'll never speak to you again.
Though there is an outside chance he'll have you killed by the Deaf Mafia.
Posted by: Joshua at February 11, 2003 12:37 PMYou should have hit him in the mouth. If you get known as "The Girl Who Hits Guys In The Mouth," you will have fewer annoying guys trying to get your phone number.
Nobody ever offers to carry my heavy, heavy groceries, but I get sexually harrassed by panhandlers ALL THE DAMN TIME. I think it's because I smile. Maybe you shouldn't smile at men panhandlers, because if you do they'll totally think you're asking for it.
Posted by: Mol at February 11, 2003 01:02 PMI have found that everyone thinks I'm asking for it all the time no matter what I do. They only think I'm not asking for it when I do ask for it.
Bitches.
If you tell all that stuff to the Deaf guy I'll bet you get the same dates as you would if you become known as The Girls Who Hits Guys in the Mouth.
Posted by: g. at February 11, 2003 01:23 PM"Oh ho. I'm askin' for it. I'm just not askin' you for it."
The other thing about it is this. I was doing the "am I being fair?" thing in my head by saying "okay, if the super adorable guy with the naked lady tattoo who always borrows my pencil sharpener and cleans it out for me had asked for my number, would I have given it to him?" and the answer is no. I would have asked him to get a beer with me, but I don't necessarily want strangers to be able to call me whenever they want. Also, STOP TALKING TO ME, MAN.
Posted by: sonya at February 11, 2003 02:05 PMThis is cool, you have to try it. I guessed 71188, and this game guessed it! See it here - http://www.funbrain.com/guess/
Posted by: Allison Trump at November 14, 2005 11:12 AM