March 10, 2003

Can't buy me love

So, you think the receptionist has a thing for you, huh? Did she smile softly when you entered the room? Did she linger on the phone for a moment when announcing your call? Did she hold your gaze when you came to tell her you can't find your office keys for the 7th time this month?

The receptionist doesn't have a thing for you. The receptionist is paid to be nice to everybody, and just happens to still be a little drunk, that's all.

Posted by Sonya at March 10, 2003 10:18 AM
Comments

Damn receptionists, strippers of the 9-5 world.

Posted by: Deav at March 10, 2003 10:43 AM

Actually, it seems all service industry positions have this in common with strippers. But generally the pay is much lower.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at March 10, 2003 10:52 AM

Strippers of the 9-5 world, eh? Is that why there's always business men going into Deja Vu and the Lusty during work hours? To get their phone messages?

Posted by: Ida at March 10, 2003 10:53 AM

Sing it, sister.

Posted by: Sarah B. at March 10, 2003 12:00 PM

Needless to say, it was the lack of this very quality that made me an abject failure as both a receptionist and a cashier:
Customer/Office Visitor: Hello.
Josh: S'up, yo.
(long pause)
Josh: Did you want something?
(awkward silence)
Customer/Office Visitor: Well, I did want to buy a bus pass. Now I want your liver on a stick.
Josh: Sorry dude. All out of bus passes.

Posted by: Joshua at March 10, 2003 01:09 PM

I absolutely love my Good Receptionist act, and my very best beautifully-elocuted warm-honey voice, but that may be because I only ever had to work reception for a couple of days at a time.

Posted by: Mol at March 10, 2003 03:06 PM

I totally had a warm-honey voice, yo. Like, radio announcer'n shit. Not so much with the beautifully elocuted, but whatever.
Thing is, apparently my version of "warm-honey" is easilly confused with what would be "caustic sarcasm" coming from anyone else.
Go figure.

Posted by: Joshua at March 10, 2003 04:02 PM

I had a work-study position answering phones once. Because nobody in the real job market would give me such a position, but work study is one step short of charity in the university world. I would sit at the desk and do my homework waiting for the phone to ring. When it did, it went something like this:
"Hello, Biology department."
"Uh, hello. Is this the Biology department?"
"Yes, this is the Biology department, can I help you?"
"Did I wake you? Cause you sound like you might have been napping...."
"What can I do for you today, sir?"
"You don't have to be all sarcastic like that, man."
"Is there something I can help you with?"
"Can I talk to somebody else?"

I swear this is my normal voice. This is as close to warm honey as it gets. This is also why I can't get jobs waiting tables or working behind a cash register.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at March 10, 2003 04:22 PM

The Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville's computer lab workers weren't known for their verbal or social skills.

When I started working, people who called kept asking to be transfered to "the British guy." It took us all a while to realize that this was the only way the caller's brain could deal with my polite mannerisms.

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