this imploding heart

Don't you hate it when you think it's apple cake and it's actually carrot cake with pineapple and walnuts -- and you HATE pineapple and walnuts in your carrot cake -- but you bit it and now you're stuck with it so you have to eat that whole damn plate of Not Good For You and you don't even enjoy it?

I thought walnuts were sort of mandatory for carrot cake, but pineapple? Do people actually do that?

Molls, I always think for a second that I can pick out the pineapple, but you cant. Even if you think you've got it all out, the juice of it is all over.

and my problem is not so much one of pineapple this time. Mine is one of "Oh holy shit, this is sooooo bad for me." while licking every crumb off my fingers.

....For several hours.

I used to put Cadbury cream eggs in a bowl and microwave them for a few seconds. I might've put a sports bar in there once too. The term sports bar has really taken a 180 in the last few years. But I digest. What I really wanted to say is that one of my old friends used to put pieces of bread with butter and syrup on them in the microwave and call it french toast. It's much like putting a feather in your hat and calling it macaroni.

Hah! So your problem is not so much not enjoying the carrot cake, but enjoying the carrot cake for way too long when you know you have to work in the morning? Man, that's some nutty carrot cake.

Yes. The cake is made of delicious delicious poison. How was your opening, best one?

I ate what I thought was carrot cake for years, only to discover that it was actually Cancer-Causing Stomach-Lining-Eating Leprosy-Inducing MadCow UpsideDown Cake. Fuck.

Hey, whatdayathinkyergonnaliveforever? Go ahead, eat the carrot cake! C'mon, one bite won't hurt you!

(This message brought to you by the National Eat More Carrot Cake Committee, a subsidiary of The Hawaiian Pineapple Growers' Association)

My opening is fine, thank you. And yours?

addicted-to-chocolate boy cannot comment right now because his hands and mouth are full.

cake is very good too. and do not discount the therapeutic qualities of jam.

is there a food-support group around here?

My opening is fine, thank you. And yours?

I totally saw that one coming as soon as I hit post. Girls are so dirty. I meant your play, yo.

I'm having cake tonight (and maybe tomorrow morning, rawr!), and that makes for cake 3 days in a row. Should I be worrried about my waistline?
--but oh, honey....the cake is so good.--

don't worry about your waistline. Obviously someone else has taken over the responsibility of watching your girlish figure.

Actually, my guess is there are lots of people watching her girlish figure, but not necessarily in a responsible way, because that would involve bright spotlights burning holes in her curtains at odd hours while an authoritative loudspeaker voice intoned, "Put your STICKY hands DOWN and step AWAY from the CAKE!"

Is there a problem with your blog freesia, 'cause I haven't been able to get to it for the past two days?

And I'm not even going to mention that boys can be just as dirty as girls -- oh. I guess I DID mention it...

cake every day, all the way.

cycle to the cake shop as fast as you can, hare around the cake shop and run on the spot at the checkout. pedal home, taking the long route, and then then walk around the house as you eat. when you're done with your cake you can then take another lengthy walk back to the store for a napkin to wipe away the chocolate from around your lips.

your friends will wonder how you stay so willowy and trim, and you'll smile enigmatically if they are forward enough to ask, although your secret will hold. if they fail to spot the bicycle clip around your right trouser leg they will never guess.

ic

Girls ARE dirty.

And definitely cake in the morning, because you don't want to crawl around all the next day with a cake hangover, do you? Hair of the dog what bit you, yo.

dag, girl. I'm so excited for cake in the morning, I don't even want to bother with the cake I'm going to have for dinner. Straight up.

those eggs rule!