this imploding heart

Personally, I would say "yes, tell me please about the dumb, dumb thing I'm doing, even if it's something that might not even have anything to do with getting laid." Sometimes I'm pretty clueless about things like this, and I can't improve myself if I not aware that a problem exists (or worse, maybe I AM aware, but just deluding myself that nobody else notices). Just try to tell me about the dumb thing in as nice a way as possible.

However, I also realize that there might be a lot of boys out there who don't share my opinion -- hopefully some of them will respond, in which case you might not get the definitive answer you were looking for, and you'll just have to go with your own best gut instinct.

that's my teenage years that is.

I look back and kick myself, but it all worked out... so maybe the dumb things I did were meant to be?

I d'know

YES!!!!

(at least some of us want to know) it makes us better 'an stronger 'an shit.

and for those who don't want to be give (if not a second chance, at least a clear indication of why they are home on a saturday night with only them and the Victoria's Secret web site for companionship) well thems a clear indication of deservedness of knee kicking.

only if you're gonna still be friends with them. then you can tell them later when it won't wound their pride. but, if you reject them and then say "here's why you're resistable." they may just be pissed and it won't do them any good anway. ?!?!

You recently learned how to do the crossout thing in HTML, didn't you?

My answer is yes, despite the fact that I would never ever listen to statements like that.

i would say write it down. if you ever see the person again in a social setting and he is doing the same thing, give it to him directly.

though, to be honest, it probably isn't worth your time to do so. you could try to rationalize that your advice will spread like a virus among men and that it will eventually enlarge the pool of males that are less dumb than before, but that is, i believe they call it, a pipe dream..

Situation A:

Boy is pestering you why, why, why won't you be mine? You tell them because you think although it may not be worth your time, it'll be worth theirs and perhaps the time of the lovely they'll date in the future.

Outcome of Situation A:

You end up wanting to clobber the boy because even though he says he wants you to tell him, he's not really listening and is still doing the thing. Repeatedly. While you're talking.

The telling only works if the teller was never someone the tellee was interested in. Or if a LONG time, like one million years, has passed.

Situation B:

Hang on, I totally had a Situation B. Really. Okay, it's more of a variation on A in which the boy thinks that if he changes the thing then you will love him. This is not always true. Sometimes you just want to love someone else.

Boys, just don't ask the girl that question. Ask your friends. They will be able to tell you without the compromising guilt of already having told you "no."

tell me tell me tell me. no need to soften it up or anything. i can take the pain. for the sole reason that too many important things are left unsaid, i am one of the die hard open communication types.

Let me just say that this is why the internet is great:

1: So it turns out that telling about the stupid thing won't work.

2: I was able to avoid doing a dumb dumb thing myself by asking a dumb dumb question.

3:Yes, I totally did just learn about the strike tag. I'm slow. I was supposed to have this whole site redesigned by the end of last week.

4: That girl across the street is wearing an 80's prom dress with high-tops, and it's 8:30am.

Yes, I want to know. No, I don't think I'd understand. Yes, I'd probably dig at you for more information in order to understand. No, I wouldn't expect to fix what ever and have you automagically put out. Yes, that is probably a lie.

Recently I got all ready to tell a boy a stupid thing he'd done, but then I realized that telling him wasn't going to change the fact that he was stupid in the first place, and he wasn't worth me sweating him. This is the best decision I've made as of late.

Break it down

Chances are that hypothetical boy's actions are:

A: Unintentional
B: Oblivious (as opposed to obvious)
C: Highly subjective

Will his friends tell him? No, because they are not you, they do not have the same relationship dynamic, nor would they respond exactly the same way if they did. Only you can clarify personal dumbness quagmires, as they relate to you and hypothetical boy.

Or else, don't say anything and be silent and passive aggressive until it falls apart. If he keeps doing it, punch him in the throat.

The one thing I'd add is that if you're this boy, and this is something you do because you listened to some GQ bullshit magazine when you were 16, it's probably not the same as, "You really need to close your mouth when you chew." It sounds like something that doesn't come naturally, something that said boy is making a conscious decision to do because he thinks that it will help with the getting laid. If this is the case, it may not be as hard to stop and definately could be shared.

if he's doing the dumb thing, that's his thing. your efforts to make him less dumb than other facets of his personality reveal him to be is sonya sweet, but he's doing it because thass who he is right now, yo.

however, i feel very strongly that you should tell everyone else. most specifically, me.

Yes.

You could always write a novel (use a pen name) in which a fictional boy does the very same dumb thing and another fictional character, in this case a highly desirable and with-it girl (superpowers optional) decides she is no longer attracted to the boy for this reason.
Then, serialize the novel and submit it to all the men's magazines that dumb boy is likely to read (hint: I hear that Playboy is renowned for their excellent articles and stories by some of America's leading literary lights.) Since we have already established that he is the kind of guy who takes the advice provided in men's magazines, he'll see the story, recognize himself in the behavior of the character who is DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO GET LAID, and he'll adjust his behavior accordingly. Voila! Mission accomplished, ugly confrontation avoided.
Soon to be a major motion picture.

though given the appropriate superpower, you could just alter his mind to take your advice into account... or blow his head up, whichever achieves the quickest desirable results...
my 2 cents.