June 18, 2003

dont come around tonight

If it were a musical, the big number would go like this: Kind of to the theme from the Jetsons, but not really.

"IM CRANKTASTIC! (bangs on a pan with a wooden spoon) I'M SO CRANKY! (Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang) I HATE EVERYTHING! ESPECIALLY THAT GUY AND HIS STUPID STUPID SHOES AND HAT!
(dramatic dance number)
I'M GONNA BEAT UP THAT GUY!
(Guitars!)
I'M GONNA EAT UP THAT PIE!
(More Guitars!)
I PRETTY MUCH JUST WANNA DIE!
(Exploding Guitars and a drumkit that spits out hamburgers!)
I'M CRAAAAAAAAAAANKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

and then the fireworks around the rim of the stage would go off and I'd punch a stuffed weasel.

Posted by Sonya at June 18, 2003 08:45 AM
Comments

Act II would be all about how you and the stuffed weasel became friends and fought crime...and you'd always argue over who was who's sidekick. Your toy piano/muppet baby drumkit band would totally be your crimefighting cover, that is, until you turned evil and started robbing brunch joints for their crabcakes.

CRAAAAAAAABCAAAAAAAAKES!

Posted by: Ida at June 18, 2003 09:19 AM

I'm just jazzin' on a hamburger-spitting drum kit! Now how cool would THAT be?

Posted by: THE COMTE at June 18, 2003 10:02 AM

I'm so with you. I'll sing the baritone part:

WEEEEEEEE'RE SOOOOOOOO CRANKY
CRAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAA-ANKY

WEEEEEEEE'RE SOOOOOOOO CRANKY
CRANKY CRANKY CRANKY CRANKY

Except dag, yo, I'm not punching my weasel in public.

Posted by: Molly at June 18, 2003 10:40 AM

It sounds like a great music video, actually. And it's easier to do those special effects on film rather than on stage.

Posted by: dayment at June 18, 2003 12:30 PM

Brittany spears' people could totally pull this off in, like, 10 minutes. and they'd be like "we've got this old flamethrower sitting backstage. Do you want us to get it out?"
and you can bet your ass i want them to get it out. stupid stuffed weasel.

ho-ly-shit. i'm so fucking cranky. and my math final is tonight and everyones gonna wanna hang out, and there's ahappy hour of science today and I can't even have a beer because i have a final.

stupid.

Posted by: crankmaster cranky CRANKY! at June 18, 2003 02:24 PM

You're going to need an evil English villain if you're going to have a stuffed weasel.

I twirl my 'stache at you nice lady


Mwuhahaha

Posted by: fire3500 at June 18, 2003 02:45 PM

OK, since all I want do is make dirty innuendos about weasel punching and 'stache twirling, I will merely ask:
Is the stuffed weasel a taxedermied rodent, or a guy in a plushie sports-mascot suit?

Posted by: Mol at June 19, 2003 02:20 PM

taxedermied rodent in a plushie suit. I was thinking more like a sock weasel, like one of those crappy stuffed animals your weird aunt makes for you and instead of it being a bear or someting it's a weasel? yeah. Like that.

and I only approve of moustache twirling if it's done by an englishman.

Posted by: sonya at June 19, 2003 02:51 PM

for the record, I am clean shaven.

on a less grim note, the stuffed weasel line has made me repeatedly and embarrassingly laugh out loud today. Lucy got annoyed at my sniggering, my sister became irate as I was no good for anything and I nearly hit a hedge when cycling.

SJET. Genius or health hazard? You decide.

Posted by: fire3500 at June 19, 2003 03:07 PM

oh, and on a final note. I saw the weasel in my mind as a really poor sock-monkey wannabe. hope this helps.

Posted by: fire3500 at June 19, 2003 03:08 PM