1: this morning, when I woke up late, didn't bother to brush my hair, noted the good fortune of taking a shower last night and ran out the door, I found a giant paper-mache Chicken Head sitting on the handlebars of my scooter, waiting to go for a ride. My life is awesome.
2: Molly and I are the strongest girls alive! We moved the giant file cabinet of certain death and destruction down 2 flights of stairs all by ourselves last night!
2.5: I have a confession to make. During all the cabinet moving, I was totally wearing a halter top and overalls with converse, accented with a tiny sign clipped to my pants strap that read: "I've been a little unreasonable today. Please be patient with me."
2.7: Did you hear me? A Fucking Halter Top! Someone should have thrown something at me, but it was just so fucking hot outside and all my other clothes are wrapped in plastic bags. (Please do not ask me why these things were not packed.)
3: Free Carpet Cleaning By Suction Device! (I didn't want to mess with the spelling. everybody thinks they know it, no one actually does.)
4: The Naughty Box has been safely stored in Molly's trunk. She thinks I definately need a bigger naughty box. I don't have that much naughty! I get all my naughty out by swearing like a longshoreman.
5: I'm wearing the fanciest underpants you've ever seen. Or, for that matter, will never see.*
6: Tiny Roomate and the Frenchman Packed the Living Crap out of the kitchen and bathroom. Thank you, frenchman, for wrapping a hundred and twenty thousand glasses in towells and putting them in boxes. Legs to you, love.
7: My daddy and momma are coming from Idaho to help us move stuff 4 blocks. Mom seems to think dad is wrapped around my little finger, but I think he just wants to prove that he can beat me at scrabble and intimidate any fresh young male neighbors.
8:Our new apartment has A:one of those bathroom windows that looks out into an empty cavernous corridor with everyone elses bathroom windows right there too. (We could hide from the nazi's in there.) B: a big fire escape next to a big rooftop. C: Windows Windows Windows D: Closets Closets Closets E: Dumb dark brown countertops in the kitchen. Anybody have an idea that is not painting them?
9: Friends for a long time, a very close friend of mine, love you like you was mine, but respect the thin line.
10: I just remembered this,or it would be at the top. When I went for my all-over checkup yesterday they had to take a blood test for the HIV and the anemia or something. The woman poked and poked and poked in my elbow spot and couldn't get it, so SHE POKED ME IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING HAND. Blood doesn't bother me, really, but I totally had to sit there and drink juice after that.
*Unless you get me drunk and put me on rollerskates, in which case, theres a 60 percent chance you'll see them. These things can't be helped.
you could cover your ugly countertops in laminated comic-book covers. that would be cool. or is that just me?
Posted by: logan at August 1, 2003 01:26 PMOnly if they were copies of '60's era Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen comics.
Posted by: bryant at August 1, 2003 01:31 PMyou could test a little solvent on those tops to check that they're resistant. if they are then you could apply sticky backed laminate to them, it comes in all manner of patterns and shades. my favo(u)rites are zebra and a kind of 70's stereo teak effects.
mmm, teak.
love across the world tonight 'cause I shined my car in the sunshine til it shone and I grew a farmer/hick tan.
ic
Posted by: fire3500 at August 1, 2003 01:52 PMoh, the solvent was for getting the glue off at the end... when you remove the lovelies
ic
Posted by: fire3500 at August 1, 2003 01:53 PM1) Get a whole bunch of paint thinner
2) Get a tin shed.
3) Become known as, "That crazy lady who lives in the shed who's always wacked out on paint thinner, muttering about countertops."
A small flaw found- don't hide from the Nazis in that corridor because what if they go to the bathroom and look out the window? Oh no, you'll say.
Posted by: Lee at August 1, 2003 07:12 PM8.a: you have a dracula court!
Posted by: mia at August 3, 2003 11:15 AMMy latest apartment came complete with half a dozen different layers of peeling paint on the kitchen countertop (the building is around 100 years old). I bought a small remainder of linoleum -- a nice wood grain, I couldn't be that picky because I needed a very small piece -- and cut it to fit & just laid it on top. It's heavy enough that it doesn't curl and it's very easy to clean. My landlady was so impressed that she gave me permission to glue it down, although that hasn't been necessary.
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