this imploding heart

Whoo! I'm number one!
OK, throwing it down:

1: False. Rodents be cool, yo.

2: I'd live with it. It's creepy, but it's funny enough that I wouldn't trade him for the guy with the moldy dishes.

3: It's not you. They're totally gross.

4: Fink and puzzy?

5a: No good. Whoa, so no good.
5b: Better, but still no good.

6: Jet, I've got to level with you. Flat pink is fine, and pink & orange is *the* hot color combo of the early '00s, but when you break out the fluffy and the poofy your date has every right to run away screaming.

7: It's definitely not the worst, so I'll give it a cautiously optimistic Best! Idea! Ever!

8: The ferrets. See #1.

9: I'm so Moroccan. Really.

10: Heh heh. Heh. Who gets eaten? Hopefully me. Actually, I might sacrifice myself for the right person, but I'd be more likely to fight back out of sheer bloody-mindedness. (But I'm a vegetarian. I ain't eating frozen buttock.)

1. Squirrels kick ass - you just have to approach them as the jokesters they are. I used to feed them peanut butter smeared on crackers every morning. One morning I went to drive and it was raining - when I turned on the windshield wipers a peanut butter smeared cracker gooed across the window. I swear they were giggling.

2. Play some music to drown it out. I recommend Juno or Automaton.

3. They are fantastic when you ask Leslie to MAKE SURE that they cook them all the way through.
I recommend adding lots of extra salt and pepper and dipping them in the vinegar provided at the table. Or just switch to their ghetto tater tots. 3rd grade heaven.

4. Secret Bad-Ass. Rarr.

5A. Depends on how much is popping out on the sides.
5B. No good if it's meant to replace their penis size. Or their marital status.

6. Hot pink? Pale pink? Throw some animal prints in there or something. Please.
* I * would have run!

7. I'm still waiting for Jaws vs. ET.

8. Pregnant ferrets would be a party!

9. Djakartans. I can smoke cloves all day.

10. Depends on who it is. I'd eat my parent because dammit, they're my parents, and that's just what they have to do. Sean & I would probably wrestle for it or something. We'd fight about it for a couple days first. But someone's who just my "buddy"? You're dead meat, man.
Heh. Literally.

(Sonya come to our party Saturday night)

1. Not terrifying. Four legs good; six to eight legs bad.

2. Live with it - remember, kids, gags exist for a reason.

3. Not enough information.

4. Not mutually exclusive.

5a. Good in magazines, bad in real life.
b. Bad in magazines, bad in real life.

6. Unless she pressed a button and all the walls flipped around and the furniture tilted backwards and became other furniture so instead of poofy crab claw kids and pastels there was cool secret agent metal stuff, I'm wicked out of there, man.

7. Whatever.

8. Hmmm...ferrets, I think, but damn, do they smell. The dancing squatters might not be better on that count, though...sub-question: if you had both at the same time, which would freak the other out more?

9. Romani. I mean, more than I already am.

10. I can't even handle the texture of dried apricots; I don't think filet of friend would be an improvement. So it's me who goes gentle into that good night; I hate being cold anyway.

1) better than insects by far. I say yay to squizzers
2) I'd give it a whirl... especially if her name was Grace
3) dunno, I am in Hull
4) definitely knows my secrets, probably invented me
5) no. no. no.
5) maybe, 50's Porsche or 60's MG then yes. Iroc or similar, nah.
6) I feel a kindred spirit is resident and even if we never met or I forgot to mail CD's in the hurry to move house I think "cool". I then produce board game and cocktail shaker. my shame fails to recede.
7) nope, back to the idea hat.
8) baby ferrets, aw!
9) boston, MA for me, baby! G.O. U.S.A!!!
10) he can have my toes and fingers and I can pick one bit that is hairless.

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok *deep breath* wooooooo!

1. False, except there's this story my sign language teacher used to tell that's not nearly as funny in English but it's still pretty good. And I'll tell you someday. But mostly, yeah, false.

2. Keeper! I love that song. Double bonus if she could play it on the bagpipes and do the no-no dance at the same time.

3. So gross.

4. Um.

5a: Free cable.
5b: Just no.

6. Run screaming. Really. Fast. Right through the wall if that's what it takes.

7. Best. Fucking. Idea. Ever.

8. The nice thing about ferrets is that odds are low tha they will sodomize you, steal your TV, and spraypaint horrible words on your walls.

9. Hi, I'm Joshua Norton, Emperor of New Zealand and protector of Tazmania.

10. Really now. What do you think?

1:TRUE! I had to wash the windowsill because it used it's 'peeing attack' instead of it's 'killing attack'.

2: I'm sorry. I know I'm not a bowl of cherries to date, and you're totally fantastic, but......you know? That singing thing you do? Yeah. Not so much with that....

3: Too Greasy! Old Grease that tastes like Other Things! Too Flappy!

4: Who's a fuzzy wuzzy bunnywunnie? (do you hate this, josh? It's cute! You're a little pink inside!)

5A: It just looks too weird. I can't get into it, no matter how hard I try. (and I try. Hard.)
5b: Better than an SUV, worse than a bike.

6: I know I know I know. I know! But you know that flower shop just down from the mercedes dealership on pike? the one with the pull down fabric shades and the pink and white curtains? I love it. I love it so much and I would just sit there and giggle, but I know it's bad. Repress, Sonya. Repress.

7: Getcher mota runnin' (DER NER NER NER) BEST IDEA EVER!

8: Ehhhhhhhhhew. EW! While I'm terrified of the squatters, I'll take them over the ferrets, because the ferrets can't be reasoned with, and I might have half a shot with the Go Go dancers.

9: Icelandic! I want to give extreme shyness and heavy drinking a shot.

10: 3M TA3

1. Sure squirrels are terrifying -- terrifying- ly cute! Just look at 'em:
Hey little fella, who's a fuzzy little cutie? Who's a little --- Hey! Not the face! AAAAAAHHHH! Get if off me! Get if off me!
2. It's a nice song but the "church" overtone is kind of a mood-killer.
3. They are not the worst in the world, but they definitely fall short of the full glory....
4. It's no secret that he knows all of our darkest secrets, he's pretty open about that. So I'd go for secretly fluffy and cute, just like a squirrel.
5a. Hmmm. Depends.
5b. Sometimes the cars are nice, but the phrase "trying a little too hard" comes to mind, especially if it's an Overcompensation Turbo in Mid-Life-Crisis Red with a Male Pattern Baldness convertible top.
6. Does the room come with a light switch?
7. Are they actually fighting or just competing to see who can kill more horny teenagers in 90 minutes?
8. Ferrets.
9. Apache.
10. Flip a coin.

1. FALSE. It sounds like you were more terrifying to the squirrel. I mean, hey If I hopped up on a windowsill and a giant pink-and-blonde thing yelled at me, I'd probably pee too!

2. I can't afford to be too picky, so I would learn to live with it, although I would probably counter by humming the "The Alfred Hitchcock" theme.

3. Yeah, they're kind of soggy & flacid, but at least they keep the skins on so they actually have some nutritional value. And if you get them right out of the fryer, they can still be kind of crispy -- for a while. I still wish I could find a place that did batter-dipped fries though.

4. Not only probably knows where the paper is, but what's written on it, and how this information can be used against me -- if necessary.

5.A. There's a small part of my brain that is screaming, "GOODGOODGOOD!!" very loudly, but it's also the part way in the back near the kitchen entrance, so the rest of the brain cells can just sort of ignore it and hope it gets tired and shuts up soon.

5.B. Convertible sports cars - double-plus good. Don't be fooled by Porches, Herr P. also designed the VW engine...

6. Listen, in your case if you've gotten to the fifth date and they haven't already figured out that your taste in interior decore might tend toward the pinkish, then they really have no excuse, because they just haven't been paying attention. Besides, it's not like you're asking them to move in -- are you?

7. (Using Comic Book Guy Voice): "Worst Idea -- EVER!" I mean really, it may not be quite as bad as a movie about a talking duck who smokes cigars or the one about the aspiring pop diva, but that's about the only good thing I can say about it.

8. Oh, go-go dancing squatters, definitely. Because in my place, they couldn't even swing the baseball bats, so they'd just have to leave them lying around, and it would make all the other liveaboards really, really jealous. Besides, I'm not sure pregnant ferrets like the water.

9. Bonzour. Mon sorti Sesel. Koti ou sorti? Ou kabap koz kreol?

10. No way I'm gonna be a frozen entre without putting up a fight.

Actually, question number two reminds me of a story.
So when I was 19 I used to live with this girlfriend of mine and one night we rented "Good Morning Vietnam", with Robin Williams. And there's a bit in there where he talks about Elvis coming to Vietnam and he has this whole routine about "Viva Da Nang" then he goes, "Da Nang me, Da Nang me, someone get a rope and hang me!"
So we watch the movie and go to bed and start fooling around and then at some point right in the middle of things that line just pops into my head, out of the blue. BANG. "Da Nang me, Da Nang me, someone get a rope and hang me!" And I, you know, start laughing. And my then-girlfriend wants to know what's funny and that just gets me laughing more which makes her more curious and pretty soon I'm in hysterics. The whole mood is ruined and that's it for that night.
But.
The problem is, the fucking song (so to speak) wouldn't go away. And every time we started to have sex, it kept popping into my head and ruining the mood. For, like, months.
It pretty much ruined the whole relationship. I moved out later that year.

I REALLY want to know what the gross one was that you almost put down.

1. False. Tree rats. Kill 'em.
2. Dump him.
3. Have no idea.
4. Have no idea.
5A. Good. If you are comfy in them, I will look.
5B. No. Jerks.
6. Turn off the lights.
7. Worst.
8. Ferrets.
9. Fijians, because there are three dotted letters in a row.
10. Fight.

I've managed to save up roughly $35021 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?