I don't know why I let it get to me, but the combination of math, diet coke and lack of magic beans probably has something to do with it. And lets not forget the prescriptions.
The math final. When she said 21 questions? Yeah, that actually means that it looks like this:
#20a
#20b
#20c
#20d
#20.5a
#21a
#21b
#21c
#21d
it was 8 chicken-crap-snatch-scratching pages long.
A girl sits down at a math test and realizes that taking numbery classes during summer session is a terrible idea, so she stands on top of the space heater and launches her shoe at the blackboard. The equation< y=23xsquared * 15x * 15048> models the shoe's course of flight. How many seconds does it take for the girl to realize that the antibiotics she's taking prohibit her from drinking alcohol?
The answer is 2.
2 seconds.
2 terrible seconds.
So I sat at the bar drinking diet coke with the kids talking about why the 2 person dingaling should be designed by lesbians "Because it's too fucking long, and the fasteners irritate the skin, you know?". I didn't, but I do now.
I split up with the kids to say hello to cake, but not until Johnny proclaimed himself the Gayest Man Ever™ by inviting all the ladies over to watch Chicago while eating Chicago style pizza and encouraging us to wear our feather boas and fancy underwear. I'm pretty sure this is the real reason I've gone back to school.
SURVEY: If I'm annoyed, does that mean I care? Is my degree of annoyance in cahoots with my level of investment?
I don't like it when irritation creeps up in my shoulders and makes me into crossed arms, tucked ankles, head turned 95 degrees away from you, chin out. I don't want to be kissed. I don't want to be explained to. I don't want apologies or declarations. What do I want? I want to grab on to that skull and put a magic bean up it's nose. A magic green bean of good ideas. A magic black-eyed pea of badness-bleaching-agent and Vitamin C. Instead, I shrug out of the apartment and walk home with the Thursday night bar crowd. I wish I had a smoking buddy in the building so we could sit on the 4th floor porch and talk about how freaking ridiculous the EMP is going to look in 20 years. How freaking ridiculous it looks now. I fall asleep to and subsequently, wake up to infomercials. I roll out of bed at six and cant go back to sleep. Long shower. Coffee shop. Cranky.
Imagining stampedeing Llamas taking over the freeways. Wondering why Josh got to see a fire but I can't smell it this morning. Thankful for the first grey day we've had in a while.
Posted by Sonya at August 22, 2003 08:13 AMIt was all the way over on Dexter and Mercer, kinda by e-mutt.
Posted by: Joshua at August 22, 2003 09:59 AMGayest man ever, or extremely crafty?
My take on the involvement/irritation relations.
A: Work - an upper level investment (I've ben here 4 years) annoys me to the pissed-get hammered and wish it all away level.
B: Ass-eye drivers - (#2 pet peeve) minimal involvement.. a few seconds on the freeway. Piss me right off to the "yeh, this car did come with a horn but the fingers custom" level.
C: Out of deposit envelopes at that ATM across the street and it's 5:10PM - literally an investment of time and money to get across that busy boom boom street I might as well move to NYC. Suprisingly enough dosen't really irritate me all that much. I'm not sure why but I just kinda shrug it off. Maybe because as long as I can't cash it I can't piss it away...
enough by emutt to have me in about 4 min of panic last night when I turned on the news. but then they showed more specifics of the neighborhood, and (more importantly) it was not spreading to other buildings.
Oy.
Posted by: sven at August 22, 2003 01:10 PMI had no idea what was going on until about 10:15 when Ch. 11 mentioned a fire "at the corner of Dexter & Mercer" (close, but no cigar - Roy is one block N. of Mercer), although the constant buzz of the newschoppers told me something was up. Odd, because I had just walked about a block east of the spot on my way home from delivering a ukelele to Mr. Fontaine at around 8:00 p.m. or roughly 1/2 hour before it supposedly started. I don't even recall hearing sirens, but then I was intensely engrossed in watching "A Hard Day's Night" on the laptop at the time. Didn't see no flames & didn't smell no smoke.
Posted by: THE COMTE at August 22, 2003 04:30 PMI was thankful for the grey day too.
Posted by: nathaniel at August 22, 2003 09:46 PMI hate to break it to you, but I got 1.679 seconds on that word problem. I didn't check my work, though.
You have a great voice. I'll definitely be back.
Posted by: estella at August 23, 2003 02:58 PMYou're right about one thing: damn, that is one ugly-ass building. Never mind how it'll look in twenty years, it looked ugly the day they put it up.
Posted by: flamingbanjo at August 24, 2003 05:43 PMA girl sits down at a math test and realizes that taking numbery classes during summer session is a terrible idea, so she stands on top of the space heater and launches her shoe at the blackboard. The equation models the shoe's course of flight. How many seconds does it take for the girl to realize that the antibiotics she's taking prohibit her from drinking alcohol?
The answer is 2.
2 seconds.
2 terrible seconds.
That was eff-in' brilliant. I mean that. I sent it to everyone I know.
