Yesterdays shopping trip was the best shopping trip in the history of mankind and shopping trips. Though Tiny Roomate and I were both a little Flip Flops and a Tanktop Skanktastic yesterday (it was HOT, yo.), we were feeling Brilliant and Insightful. I'd love to let you in on our brilliance, but it's top secret and dorktastic. Top secret information speckled with statements like "It's exactly like being bad at math or colorblind. It just so happens that some people are born that way. OOH! Onions!"
and
"Sooonnnyyaaaa....think about this. Are you only buying those because they're two for a dollar?"
"But! They're so economical!"
"you've got to fight the urge, baby. you've got to get over this thing."
But the really amazing thing about the shopping trip is this.
A few months ago, The Fat Boys and I sat around in my old apartment in our new matching underwear and ate coconut Fruit a Freeze bars dipped in burbon. Those bars were possibly the best things I'd ever put in my mouth ever, only to be de-throned when a bike messenger lets me bite his delicious calf. I went back to the grocer that day only to find that there was only one box left. One box of fruit a freezes next to a hundred boxes of a similar-yet-horrifyingly-inferior brand.
They were cycling out my beloved frozen treats.
I went to every fucking grocery store in town. I put out watches with people in faraway neighborhoods. I rummaged through a hundred frozen good sections to no avail. They were gone.
We tried to replace them. Tiny Roomate came home with every frozen coconut item Uwajamaya carried (this is an astoundingly high number of items.) I limped along on Happy Time Coconut Frozen Fruit Treats and Whole Fruit Coconut Bars Of Evil.
Until Yesterday.
Yesterday, as I was surveying the frozen vegetable selection, Tinnious Roomateous, the Goddess of Frozen Coconut Items came around the corner bearing a gift from Olympus in each hand. I fell to my knees before Her Holiness and averted my eyes from Her glory. They had been returned to me. My delicious frozen treats had come back to the one who loves them.
I turned to the deity. "How is this possible?"
"Thou shalt not know the mysteries of the frozen foods. Thou shalt give thanks and delight in these creamy delicious bars, so sayeth the Goddess."
And there was much rejoicing.
Delicious, coconutty, rejoicing.
Posted by Sonya at September 4, 2003 08:50 AMhilarious! and also ... so true ;)
Posted by: your tiniest roommate at September 4, 2003 10:41 AMhi sonya
i read you very often but hardly ever post. i think i did once. anyway, i so hear you. I SOOOOOOO HEAR YOU!!! When I lived in Boston, I became addicted to the same Fruit a Freezes, and even got daring a couple of times with the chocolate covered ones. Froze fruits were absolutely not the same, and it seemed like the store was playing a trick on me by putting out 2 boxes of fruit a freezes, and then none for a month or two. I checked many stores. My boyfriend at the time, who commuted every day from Cape Cod, finally ended up having to get some from the store down there and PACK A COOLER for the 1 hour drive. Very sweet kid. But that is how great my need was, and how illusive the treat.
Jen,
This is obviously a government plot to deny us our God Given Right To Fruit a Freezes. It warms my heart to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. (I'm also glad someone else acknowledges that they're the best frozen treat of all time, and nothing compares to their glory.)
I've been reading here for a while now.(v.nice) Originally I was intrigued since you not only have my name(relatively rare)but also my "y" spelling (I can't even find cheesey necklaces with a "y" usually). Bonus was that you are quite clever. And witty. And you do interesting things in the Produce section. Therefore I think you are actually me, but somewhere else in a parallel universe with more time, subsequently resulting in much better writing for your posts.
Except I hate coconut. Except the smell or for Pina Coladas. But that's parallel universes for you. All parallel and stuff.
I really am sane. Kind of.
Posted by: sonya at September 4, 2003 06:25 PM*L* Every once in a while, I have the exact same problem with something I love. I'll be stupid enough to drive 300 miles for something trivial. Go figure! *S*
Dave
Please xplain how you soak the bars in Bourbon? That sounds like a good party dessert.
And you *SHALL* be at our next party.
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