October 29, 2003

Dont want to meet your daddy, just want you in my caddy

I was all ready to write about uncircumcised penises and my newfound fascination with them and how I really want to see one but anyone who offers to show me theirs is probably going to be a sicko so I really shouldn't bring it up, but THEN I realized my new calling.

I think I want to quit my sitting around being nice to people job and get a job as one of those cigarette butt and leaf sweeping on the sidewalk guys. For the following reasons:

1: Walking around and looking at stuff. All day.

2: Navy Blue Uniform! And a Reflective Vest!

3: Beligerancy and foulmouthedness? Not only accepted, but expected.

4: The general attitude of all the sweeper guys seems to go something like this: "Perhaps I'll sweep that. Perhaps not. Perhaps I'll sit on this curb and watch those skateboarders."

5: If I were a street-sweeper, I'd grow my hair to my shoulders and pull it back in low pigtails and wear a hat and comfortable shoes while I was at work. This would free my regular wardrobe considerably, because I wouldn't have to have anything be work-appropriate. Not that anything is, anyway.

Posted by Sonya at October 29, 2003 10:03 AM
Comments

All excellent points, Sjet, but I still don't see how this is going to bring you any closer to your dream of seeing Uncut Jimmies.

I think I missed a segue.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at October 29, 2003 05:01 PM

I know it's natural and all, but the one I saw wierded me out. The uncut should remain unseen. Go with the sweeping thing, spend your days making up raunchy slang.

Posted by: kerry at October 29, 2003 07:22 PM

I know it's natural and all, but the one I saw wierded me out. The uncut should remain unseen. Go with the sweeping thing, spend your days making up raunchy slang.

Posted by: kerry at October 29, 2003 07:22 PM

"aw, come on, give me a chance. i just want to be loved."

Posted by: turtleneck at October 29, 2003 11:49 PM

But... but...when could you wear your skirts and kneesocks???

Posted by: dayment at October 30, 2003 10:20 AM

While i'm not street sweeping! It'd be great!

Posted by: sonya at October 30, 2003 12:00 PM