this imploding heart

Schmappy Who Here!

Well, you sweet n' perky TaTa's, it's about to be a new year.

It's about to be a new year, and it turns out I have superpowers. Yesterday, the first thing out of my mouth was "Hey! Cakerface! Howsabout you skip work and stay home to entertain me?". And guess what happened?

If you guessed "He got canned", you're wrong!

If you guessed "For some freaky reason, he just didn't have to work for the rest of the week", well, you guessed it, hotpants.

So today I was informed of the following: a woman lactovulates every 28 days, not a single house sold in King county during 2003 sold for less than 4 million dollars, and I have a giant hickey on my throat.

None of these things turned out to be true.
After Maury Povich, they ask "Did you lose more than 100 pounds, and are now sexier than ever? Call this number, tell us your story, and YOU could be on the MAURY POVICH SHOW!!!"

"Hi, I just saw your advertisement, and my girlfriend, Sonya Walker, would be GREAT for your show. I spoke with her about this just a moment ago, and she'd love to tell her story, her number is 206-***-****, give her a call, she's really become a beautiful girl." He hung up the phone, turned, and gave me the shit-eating-est grin ever.

"You bastard."

"What're you going to say when they call?!?"

So I got my wish for amusement, and it looks as though I won't get any work done on my rinky dink research paper.

It's a new year, lovepoodles.

Tiny Roomate is locked up in customs at the Canadian border and I just handstitched a new neckline for an old dress.
(Man, Frank Sinatra was a handsome young son of a gun.)

I'm thankful for the following events or non events of 2003, in no particular order:

My mothers relative amazing health, including her robotic turbo heart.

My father giving up all that Pepsi.

My Terrorizing May Day Experience.

Our brand new wireless connection at home, painlessly provided by some lovely foriegners.

Starting school just as everyone else my age was graduating.

Accidently showing my ass to all of New York City.

Patrickt being willing to face his fear of heights so that I could show my ass to all of New York City.

The birth of Vanessa Mann

Tiny Roomate and Jack graduating from the Vassar School of Hair and Nail Design and Harvardio School of Agriculture, and both deciding to move within 200 yards of me, saving me all the trouble and panic of moving more than a few blocks at a time.

80 percent fewer panic attacks per month, as of July.

related Cake's magical calming powers.

relatedLearning that the things that tend to upset me most are things I can't change, so why be upset?

That Clem Snide show I saw with Molly.

That Electric Eel Shock show I saw with Tiny Roomate. (I think I'm going to try calling her just 'Tiny' from now on. What do you think? 'Tiny'.)

Feebly singing backup for Her Holiness the Rockstravaganza, Erin. and all that
transpired and shall never be mentioned again. (except for those motorcycle pictures, which shall be mentioned at an opportune time in the future.)

Miniature World in Vancouver, BC.

That weekend when I tried to make everyone do The Robot and then fell asleep in somebody's car.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists with Fat Boys.

Crushes

Patrickt: THE UNDEAD.

The Aquarium.

That Polyphonic Spree show with Cake.

And, if I've ever called you hotpants, I'm thankful for you, hotpants. You and your sweet sweet ass.

Posted by Sonya at December 31, 2003 08:23 PM