There's a guy riding around the city on a shopping cart that he's pushing like a scooter. Arms resting on the handlebar, on foot on the bottom rung.
It's a really nice day. Tiny and I just had a hamburger and big glasses of ice water. She borrowed some lipstick from a chamber maid today. I wore dumb socks, but hey, at least they don't fall down.
On our big walk last night, we passed the College parking garage off Pike. Some guy was pissing behind a dumpster at the top of the incline, and his buddy was watching out for him by the doorway. His pee spilled under the dumpster and diagonal across the sidewalk. I guided Tiny around it and laughed. "Ewwww!"
Mr Pees in Public heard me, and he got mad. He started yelling at his friend, and even though he was right behind me and REALLY loud, I couldn't make out what he was saying. I sensed, however, that he got embarressed about the pee on the sidewalk, and being embarrassed made him mad, so he was trying to save his pride by bitching about us being bitches who bitched about his pee.
Mostly, however, I don't care about your pee, buddy. I wish you'd think about where water goes, and not pee where it's going to spread out, but I'm also pretty glad you didn't do it in the entryway of my building like everybody else, all weekend.
Stop peeing in our entryway, people!
Posted by Sonya at April 29, 2004 03:11 PMStop peeing in our entryway, people!
Okay. Just for you.
Posted by: Joshua at April 29, 2004 04:06 PMThat's one nice thing about living on the water -- people (and ducks, and fishes) can pee all they want in my entryway and it just goes right down into several cubic miles of water -- that frankly already has enough nasty pollutants in it that a few cc's of urine are the least of its worries.
Posted by: THE COMTE at April 29, 2004 04:32 PMJosh! That's so nice of you, sweetiepie!
you peeing jerk.
Posted by: lets get in a fight! at April 29, 2004 05:00 PMDo people pee in public all year round, or is it just more noticeable in the summers when it's nice and dry out? And ew.
Posted by: yukino at April 30, 2004 03:12 AM... and here I thought they just waited to piss in my ambulance.
Posted by: John Galt at April 30, 2004 07:07 AMWeren't those new-fangled, fancy-schmancy hi-tech honey buckets the City kicked in for recently supposed to ELIMINATE THE SCOURGE OF ENTRYWAY PEEING IN OUR LIFETIME?
Posted by: THE COMTE at April 30, 2004 09:38 AMMaybe that's the problem. Who wants to pee in a honeybucket? They need to make a solution that involves a pee-target *more* attractive than your average entryway, maybe a gorgeous fountain with a high plume and privacy cubbyholes. Maybe some fake doors to imitate the look of an entryway. Also, it would have the added advantage of actually inciting an urge to pee upon passing!
Posted by: yukino at April 30, 2004 11:24 AMAlternately you could replace your entryway with a Honeybucket. You know, not actually functioning, just the front door and the back cut out leading into the building. Since they seem a deterrent to peeing and all.
Posted by: yukino at April 30, 2004 11:25 AMYeah, and these are kind of scary-looking honeybuckets to boot! Sort of like that "Star Trek" episode with the "they go in, but they don't come out" suicide booths!
I wonder what would happen to somebody if they got trapped inside during the "cleaning cycle" -- would they be incinerated? Or maybe doused with caustic chemicals that rendered them into a big puddle of protoplasmic goo?
In Paris many, many years ago they used to have "public pissoirs". I remember seeing an old photo of a bunch of guys "passing water" through some long troughlike structure with small individual openings just big enough to step up to and do your business into without overtly exposing yourself to your neighbor or to the passersby. Seems a lot cheaper than a futuristic brushed steel, fully automated honeybucket, and it still carries enough of the tittilation factor of entryway urination to be a good alternative.
Posted by: THE COMTE at April 30, 2004 01:51 PMI've tried to stop, but there just ain't no stoppin!
Posted by: flamingbanjo at April 30, 2004 05:13 PMAlso the word "pissoir" just fucken rocks.
Posted by: yukino at May 1, 2004 12:30 AMI can't believe no one's discussed the chambermaid phenomenon yet. I wasn't aware there even WERE any anymore, outside of pseudo-Victorian houses of ill repute.
Posted by: nikita at May 3, 2004 12:01 PMHA! The above comment makes the part of the story that doesn't belong on the internet just that much funnier.