May 20, 2004

now how I remember you

Dear England,

I know you guys have been doing this for a while now, but I have a suggestion. My roomate just told me that Sean Connery is a knight. And Judi Dench. Now, this is jut my opinion, but I don't think Judi Dench is capable of slaying a dragon. And it just seems like, if you're going to knight somebody, they should either have already slain a dragon, or are looking for a dragon to slay. That's all I'm saying.

I hope the whole crumpet thing is working out nicely.

Best Regards,

Mister Lucky

Posted by Sonya at May 20, 2004 09:37 AM
Comments

Brilliantly written!

Posted by: Wow at May 20, 2004 09:54 AM

Well, Dench is a dame, if that changes anything. Rupert Murdoch is also a knight. And the devil.

Posted by: Jeremy at May 20, 2004 10:54 AM

Dude, Sean Connery was a dragon. Does that count?

Also, if that bloated hack Andrew Lloyd Webber can be a knight, anyone can be a knight. Even Pauly Shore.

Posted by: yukino at May 20, 2004 10:55 AM

Wait a minute...Rupert Murdoch is a knight and so is the Devil, or Rupert Murdock is the Devil and also a knight?

Posted by: sonya at May 20, 2004 11:10 AM

They made Paul McCartney a knight too. Because apparently he wrote some songs or something.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at May 20, 2004 11:18 AM

C'mon, we all know she did it because he came onto her in "Her Majesty."

Posted by: yukino at May 20, 2004 11:47 AM

I think it's lame to pick Judi Dench as the example of the knight who can't slay a dragon. 'Cause I bet Judi Dench could kick the shit out of Paul McCarney and Elton John, both at the same time. Fuck it-- I'd give Judi even odds against Connery. That dude's getting pretty old.

Posted by: Joshua at May 20, 2004 12:26 PM

You're totally right. I didn't think this through well enough. Out of all the knights named, I agree that Dench is the most capable of slaying something, but I hold to the fact that she -as of yet- has not yet slain or made plans to slay any dragon.

Posted by: sonya at May 20, 2004 12:55 PM

I'd like to see the ceremony where every single knight that ever was is demoted from "Sir" to "Loser" because no dragons were harmed during knighting.

(Joust kidding, Arthur, we won't make you put the sword back in the stone.)

Posted by: Ida at May 20, 2004 01:17 PM

Seriously, why don't they just handle knighthood the way we do in the States? If you want to be considered a "knight of the realm", just pay your membership fees to the SCA and have done with it.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at May 20, 2004 01:23 PM

Splendid.

Wonderful musings on the old knighting system. Personally I'm hoping that they start handing them out as a free gift with subscriptions to KBE monthly.

Jolly good

/ic

Posted by: Sir Fire3500 at May 20, 2004 02:22 PM

Both. Yes.

QED

Posted by: Jeremy at May 20, 2004 02:38 PM

I totally think Dench could take the dragon. 'Cause, think about it: you have to be pretty bad-ass to spell your name with a cutesy "i" at the end and get away with it. And I will continue to think of her as a Knight and not a Dame because Dame is a) overused in classic film noirs and b) the loser-est word ever, especially compared to Knight.

Posted by: nikita at May 24, 2004 09:04 AM

Nice site...

Posted by: Eric Baldini at June 5, 2004 06:40 PM