this imploding heart

Girlfriend, I wanna be your boyfriend, yeah.

My loves, how Swedish do I actually look? This is five days in a row that someone has come up to us out of the blue and either asked me if I was from Sweden or asked Tiny if I was from Sweden (beacause OBVIOUSLY, I speak only swedish.)

After breakfast on the porch and a short stint of unrequired lawn care, we took the train to DUMBO, which I think means Down Under the Manhattan Brooklyn Overpass, or something. There are a few galleries down there, and a decent grocery store, but mostly a giant rehab clinic and a beautiful park. Most of todays pictures are from the park.

After we were non-plussed by DUMBO, we salved our souls with the guilt of slavery-produced clothing. This isn't something I usually indulge in (new clothes, as opposed to used but still made for pennies overseas, just purchased by someone else originally.), but I spent an hour salivating over five dollar options at H&M.

I've never been in an H&M before, but it's a lot like an Old Navy. Ladies going crazy and incredibly loud music playing to coax you thinking that it's alright to buy a new shirt for 5.90.

As you may or may not know, I'm a bit hard of hearing. I don't participate in conversations in automobiles going over 25mph. I zone out in crowded bars. I only respond to hand signals at rock shows.

So I'm standing next to some red polka dots responding to Tiny's uplifted eyebrows - (What do you think? They only have it in Medium.)- with a slight grimace - For 39 bucks? You can buy that for less in a better color in Chinatown.- because all I can hear is Beyonce, when he walks up. I don't hear any of the conversation, but I see Tiny say the words 'No. American.', carry on a short conversation, then put on her 'Oh crap, get me out of this' big ol' smile.

I asked her later what he said.

Tiny'd had her phone out in the store when he'd approached.

dude: "I don't suppose I could get your number, because you've got a boyfriend, right?"

Tiny: "Right."

dude: "What about her? Is she Swedish?"

Tiny: "No. American."

dude: "Do you have a boyfriend? You look like you're from Sweden!"

Sonya: understands clearly what's going on, but is useless in the actual conversation portion. Raises eyebrows at Tiny.

Tiny: "She can't hear you. And she's got a boyfriend."

Dude, whispering, which is hilarious.: "Is she deaf?"

Tiny: "Not much."

Dude:"I've got a girlfriend. She's watching me on the security cameras right now. I'm a movie star. I put on a little weight for the role (shakes belly). You're gonna see me all over. I'm huge."

Tiny: "That's so great for you! Good luck!"

as we walk out of the reds and into the greens.

Sonya: "Did that fucking guy ask if I was swedish?"

On the train home, a buisnessman was wearing a lampshade on his head like it was the latest craze. I tried to take his picture without being obvious, but the train came to a corner and it blurred. I can't resist posting it, so do your best to spot mister lampshade man. The shade is cream and slightly to the right of the hand on the pole.

Posted by Sonya at June 4, 2004 11:16 PM