Cake thinks it's one of my most annoying traits, what he refers to as overzealous do-gooding. I can't help it, it came with the optimism.
I left the house this morning 5 minutes too late to walk but 5 minutes too early to leave on the scooter. I took the creamsicle anyway because I'm nervous about my new boss staking out my desk to see when I come and go.
I was sailing down Harrison when I saw a woman with a blind cane standing at the corner of the intersection. I stopped and called out to her that there were no cars. She stepped to the curb, put her hands to her face, turned around backward, walked a little, stopped, turned again and started whipping her head around as though there were things coming at her from the sides.
I pulled the scoot over and put it up on it's stand, motor running.
"Hi, do you need someone to walk you across?"
I think she heard the scooter pulling up, because she didn't look at me, but she tapped the scooter with her cane and felt the handlebars with her hands before I touched her on the arm and she noticed me. She was frantic. Touching her fingers to her face and trying to sign to me. Five fingers, one finger, two fingers.
"512? Is that your house?"
She ignored me (which is about when I should have figured out that she couldn't really hear me, either.) and indicated that she needed something to write with and on. I got a bit of paper and a pen out. The pen was cold and didn't leave any ink, but she pushed hard enough and wrote clearly enough that I could read:
'I are lost. Where is home. 512 **th Ave E'
The skeptic in me sang out 'She's going to trick you into coming to her house and there will be people there to rob and murder you!' but the optimist replied 'you know why she didn't take the pen that worked when you offered it? because she COULDN'T SEE YOU OFFERING IT, NOR THAT HER OWN PEN DIDN'T WORK, DUMBSHIT. Take the lady home.'
We walked through the overgrown sidewalks to her apartment, 4 blocks away. She invited me upstairs, and I think she thought I was following her in the doorway, because she couldn't see or hear me decline in order to go to work.
I hope there's someone waiting for her up there.
Tim once told me that someone philosopher said that all good deeds are done for selfish reasons. Damn right. I walk you home when you're blind and deaf so that you'll come to the ER and hold my hand after my car accident. I help you push your car when it stalls in the intersection so that you'll help me pick up the papers I dropped all over the overpass before class. I get the eggs off the shelf for the old man riding a Rascal so that someone will walk my mother down the stairs when she gets tired. If you don't deposit into the bank, you can't expect to withdraw.
Posted by Sonya at August 25, 2004 09:19 AMSometimes we do good things for others because we're feeling crappy and doing good makes us feel better. That's selfish too, but it's a kind of selfishness that's better than the alternative.
Posted by: KING COMTE I at August 25, 2004 10:25 AMHelping people in need gives me a warm fuzzy like nothing else can, and lasts long enough to keep me warm the same night.
Posted by: UnderwearNinja at August 25, 2004 10:30 AMyou're right, what comes around goes around....so be nice .... at least most of the time.
Posted by: someone else's mom at August 25, 2004 12:10 PMAll the good stuff I do is actually in payment for my enormous Self Righeousness bill, which comes on the 15th of every month like clockwork and has throw-you-on-the-ground-and-gang-rape-you type interest payments if I don't send a check right away.
Posted by: Joshua at August 25, 2004 01:08 PMSometimes we do good things because of who we are. I'm glad there are people like you in the world.
Posted by: Wow at August 25, 2004 01:23 PMFirst off, the world needs more people who go out of their way to help people. It's a rarity in this world and something to be treasured.
I think calling it selfish is a bit jaded, though. There are philosophers who believe that humans are essentially evil, and do only that which benefits them. They have to call selfless acts selish because otherwise they have to get rid of their theory. I believe that humans are inherently ambivalent; we have potential for both good and evil. The fact that we enjoy helping others with no tangible benefit to ourselves isn't a sign that are actions are selfish, rather, it shows that we have good in us. We live much of our lives contrary to what we know is right, but when we do something that we know is right (with all the univeral morality that that implies) we feel good because, just for a second, we are who we should be.
That was a bit long winded, but I think you're cheating yourself by calling selfless acts selfish.
tim's wrong and you're right and that's that.
Posted by: ryan at August 26, 2004 09:28 PMI actually think the theory is pretty right on. Don't we always have some kind of satisfaction from doing good things? even if they're things we don't really feel like doing? Isn't the satisfaction of doing something good rewarding?
So: Good Deed = Reward = Self-Oriented Motivation = Selfish.
I don't think it's a bad thing. Actually, I think it's a pretty redeeming quality in human beings.
Posted by: sonya at August 27, 2004 08:26 AMIt's all about motivation. Take your story. When you found out that the blind woman needed your help, did you think to yourself, "I could just ignore her, but if I help her I'll get to feel like a better human being"? If you did, then it was selfish.
If, on the other hand, you saw someone in need and acted because it would seem wrong not to act regardless of how it benifited you, then the action was selfless. The fact that you were rewarded with a positive feeling after the fact is just a nice side note.
It might look like I'm splitting hairs, but its an important distinction. The "selfish" theory is really a way to describe moral behavior without universal morality. The "selfless" theory invokes univeral morality as a basic human motivation. And non-universal morality is a very scary thing.
Oh, and it's Tom, not Tim.
Posted by: T. Quagmire at August 28, 2004 11:02 PMPoint awarded to Tom (and I think that dude was referring to the Tim of my post.)
Posted by: sonya at August 30, 2004 08:36 AMYou're right, there was a Tim with a theory in your post. Now I feel all sheepish. In my defense, I get called Tim a lot. And Mike, but that one makes a lot less sense.
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