this imploding heart

Yikes.

I keep putting off having my wisdom teeth pulled.

Given that I max out my dental insurance yearly, I feel less like a wuss and more like a "fiscally prudent" individual.

Good luck!

hate to say it, but don't let Dr. Sexy Pants sugar coat it for you...having your wisdom teeth out is unavoidably miserable. Stock your fridge with pudding, yogurt and ice cream...Hopefully you'll be a quick healer :)

shawn is totally lying, sjet. totally. when I had my wisdom teeth out, fairies sang to me and did magic dances for my amusement and I ate ice cream and applesauce and pie, and when it was all done, I was actually wiser. (strange but true.)

Doctor Sexy is totally serious about how much it's supposed to hurt afterward, and they anticipate that I'll have major bruising on my jaw and round my eyes due to my swedish complexion. I'll also have to hand over $300 cash on the day of the surgery and have Cakester take me home in a taxi at 9am.
But I figure it's kind of like giving birth. Lots of people do it and live through it. And I'll never have to do this particular thing again, so it can't be that bad, right?

I'm going to eat pudding pops for DAYS.

Um, you might ask Dr. Sexy to check those X-Rays really, REALLY closely for any possibility of a third root on one of your wisdom teeth (a rare, but not unknown condition), because if he don't see it and doesn't plan for it, you could very easily find yourself "doing this particular thing again" (speaking from experience am I).

And good call on his part re: the IV. Sitting in a chair for 4 1/2 hours staring at your bloody mouth reflected in your dentist's safety goggles isn't my idea of a fun afternoon.

And don't forget -- Dick's milkshakes! They make the percosets go down real smoooth...

mmm...percoset. if they'd give me that again, i'd let them implant my wisdom teeth and re-remove them...

The removal of my wisdom teeth would have been fairy-tastic if it hadn't been for the strong reaction I had to the knock-out drugs. To whit: I never took any painkillers because instead I was dosing myself with anti-nausea medication for a full week. (Calling your maxillofacial surgeon while puking is really funny, even while it's happening.)

My favorite part was packing clove strips into the gaping holes. (It really was. They smelled and tasted good.)

the only thing i've pulled out lately is a huge filling, this happened while i was chewing on a candy that i stole from my roommate. that's how God punishes cleptos!

your first driver's license story:

When I got mine out a friend paid for it because those are the kinds of friends I have and he even paid extra for super drugs so I wouldn't experience the pain during the operation. Before the procedure the doctor said, "There's two things we need to worry about. One is that I accidentally pound through the roof of your mouth into your nasal cavity. That can actually happen. If there's any blood in your snot after this, call me immediately so I can fix it and the hole doesn't heal open. The other thing is, there's an outside chance I might clip a nerve in your jaw and make your face numb."

"Numb?" I said. "For how long?"

"For the rest of your life."

"...Um. Are you teasing me?"

"No."

"Oh."

And then he gassed me and I went to sleep. And I only woke up once during the procedure because it was kind of hard to breathe and there was this loud noise. As it turned out, the reason it was hard to breathe was that the doctor was kneeling on my chest. He was wearing a plastic face shield and the examination light was peering over his shoulder like a little robot sidekick. He had a long narrow chisel in one hand and a hard plastic hammer in the other and he was pounding away at my jaw so hard that it was taking two people to hold my head steady and the concussion of the chisel blade going through the bone and tooth was echoing through my head like the sound of glass electric utility insulators being chewed up by a tyrannosaurus rex.

And I thought, "Huh. That's interesting."

And then I went back to sleep.

He didn't pound through to my nasal cavity, but he did mess the nerve in my jaw up a little. There's a place between my chin and my bottom lip that's kind of tingly.

But mine were way down in there. If yours are actually out in the open pretending to be teeth, you'll probably have a real easy time of it.

I don't even remember having mine out. I know I did, but it was entirely uneventful, I guess. My sister, on the other hand, was doing handstands and silly dances in the living room. But there's a good chance she doesn't remember that either. Or maybe it was me. Or maybe ...

Umm. I already got my wisdom teeth out. But how's about giving me this Dr. Sexy's phone number. Maybe I want them back IN. Anyways, I was knocked out for hours after the surgery was done, and I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair. And for some reason all I remember was that my sister was screaming at the dental assistant. It was awesome.

I'd do it for you if I could. Having my wisdom teeth pulled was one of the highlights of college.

Coincidentally enough, it's also when I started my nitrous habit.

I will spare you the gruesome story except to say, no knockout gas for me.

Also, mine all had extra roots. I have them, somewhere around here, to this day. They are GOTHIC.

Make sure someone waits on you hand a foot for at least 3 days afterward. I remember drooling a lot, and being able to tolerate only yoghurt.

Your mileage may vary. In fact, I certainly hope it does.

ok, another story... I had five wisdom teeth; one was under or on top of the other. Make sure you have good drugs, and for a few days don't let them lapse. My drugs sucked (tylox). My face was a world of pain for about a week. I sincerely hope you fare better. May the force be with you Sonya.

superfast healers can talk on the phone the same night and be back to real food in 48 hours. rare, but i'll loan you my fast healing superpower and hope it helps.

I really only have two things to add.

1) If Dr. Sexy (which is an unfortunate name) tells you that bones spurs are common and go away by themselves, punch him in the nose. He's right, but he's leaving off the small bit about excruciating pain. Which brings me to...

2) The directions on pain medications are important. Say you had Oxi-Codone (morphine's synthetic little brother) and the bottle said to take 1 pill every 4 hours, do yourself a favor and don't take 2 pills every 2 hours. It leads to unpleasant muscle shakes and a two day headache. But it feels just fine and dandy before that part.