I had a brief lapse of judgement/need for cheap comfort the other night, and subsequently purchased not one, but buy one get one half off TWO pairs of payless shoes. Both very cute, one pair in pink, both being returned today. I wish I could return all that short term comfort ice cream I attacked, but that's a little more chemically complicated.
The Weakerthans are playing at Neumo's tomorrow. I'm excited to see the band, but I still vehemently dread going to Neumos. What the hell happened to Graceland? The Croc? Chop Fucking Suey for craps sake? I hate Neumos because it's both way too loud and totally impossible to hear at the same time. I also hate it because I feel like I'm in trouble in a gym class when I'm there.
Because I'm stationary and there's nowhere to hide, I spend half my day responding to 'How's it going?/How're you?/How's your day?/' I always say good/great/fine and smile, because that's what I'm getting paid to do, essentially. Lately people have been all like 'Just fine? You sure? Not Great?'. I don't know how to explain that I'm expending every fucking bit of my energy in order to act enthusiastic for their benefit all day, so I'm really fucking sorry if it's holding steady at level six instead of a superfantastic level nine these days.
'What's wrong?'
ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING! THAT'S WHAT! I feel like crap for no reason! I want to bust all my teeth out with an aluminum bat for NO FUCKING REASON AT ALL. MY LIFE IS ALMOST PERFECT AND I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SO WHY THE HELL DON'T I FEEL LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY HAT ALREADY?!
and this is the part where we're all still sitting around, not knowing exactly what to say, fiddling with our napkins and looking at our watches. Sorry about that. sorry everybody.
I find tremendous comfort in the fact that, when I read my own archives from the past few Novembers/Decembers, they're all pretty much like this. So, that metaphorical sun? Don't you worry. Bet your bottom dollar. If not Tomorrow, in a few months.
Posted by Sonya at November 30, 2004 10:57 AMBut you have to wonder...if the winters here weren't so dark and rainy and crappy you probably wouldn't think that the summers were so blissfully amazing (assuming that you enjoy the summers in Seattle...which you should....cause they kick ass...and yer friend's ass...and probably yer pop's ass too although I'm not sure). The moral here is that the bad makes the good that much better, right?
Posted by: Shawn at November 30, 2004 06:25 PMwithout a doubt, correct. Some winters have been more justifiable than others, though.
Posted by: sonya at December 1, 2004 07:14 AMHave you considered getting one of those full-spectrum sun lamps, like for people with SAD?
Posted by: KING COMTE I at December 1, 2004 10:06 AMPlease come visit me sometime soon (Saturday day?) so I can make you some tea and cookies.
I haven't seen you since August Everything!
(Oh! We are having Crafty Girlie Day on Sunday afternoon, too, if'n you're interested)
Posted by: dayment at December 1, 2004 04:07 PMwell shit I was going to say one of those sun lamps too but instead I'll say maybe you oughtta install a punching bag in the derby. whale on it every now and then.
i've been finding buffy very beneficial to combat winter blues.
also bacon. lots and lots of bacon.
Posted by: sue at December 2, 2004 06:00 AM