I've been considering my career a lot lately, and I recently spotted an ad for a profession that I think I might really enjoy. Any of you ever been a process server? Do you think I'll get shot at? Josh thinks my adorability will be disarming. (Literally, I'd hope.)
I walked past the 'Visit Santa' display house outside of Nordstrom yesterday. You can watch the kids sitting on santa's lap for their picture through the outside window. When I passed, Jolly Grinning St. Nick had a lovely smiling 7-9 year old girl on each side, each dressed in brand new christmas dresses. On his lap sat a 5-6 year old boy, also dressed in all new finery, screaming his head off and writhing in terror. Santa and all the elves were still smiling and playing it cool, but that kid wasn't having a bit of it. It made me laugh out loud.
Posted by Sonya at December 1, 2004 08:19 AM"Santa loved a woman who wasn't clean."
Posted by: flamingbanjo at December 1, 2004 10:10 AMHa! Those scenes are pure fucking comedy gold. Yesterday I stood on the sidewalk and watched handlers attempt to deposit a 2-year old girl on Santa's lap very much against her will. The handler had an arm around her waist and she was screeching and flailing like a mad cat, but she suddenly froze and had this silent, tense toddler/Santa standoff with all four of her limbs pointed at him and braced to protect her midsection in case Santa lunged.
I fantasize about crouching on the sidewalk next to the kiddies and saying, "You know, eleven months out of the year there are homeless people sleeping right where you're standing! No, it's true! But then in December they kick them out and build the 'Visit Santa' House on this spot so that you can dress up and tell the hired guy in the plush suit all of the things you want your parents to buy for you, because Nordstrom Cares. Happy Holidays!"
But maybe I'm just bitter.
Posted by: molly at December 1, 2004 10:37 AMIt was right along that corner that the PETA asswipes had the (real) dead animals in traps on the sidewalk.
For the Santa line to see.
It was right along that corner that the PETA asswipes had the (real) dead animals in traps on the sidewalk.
For the Santa line to see.
Oh my god, but that image fills me with a quick maniacal glee; laughter that starts behind my knees. Lordy lordy.
Throw in the word "asswipes" and it becomes art.
Posted by: Joshua at December 2, 2004 12:48 PM