this imploding heart

go by

I went dancing with AA and POW last night at ye olde tranny bar on Broadway. I was slightly altered in order to best enjoy my dancing-and-not-giving-a-fuck experience when who comes along but Mister Buzzkill.

"Hey Girl! Hey! Will you dance with me?"

"Um...I'm cooling off." This was 100% true, but I was also feeling completely incapable of verbalizing a polite rejection OR paying attention to someone else while I danced. I hate being touched while dancing unless we're waltzing or something. Get your business out of my business!

"I can wait untill you cool off."

I know the appropriate answer was "No Thanks", but I couldn't seem to get that particular phrase together. Instead we get: "I...dude, I can't talk right now."

"I didn't ask you to talk, I asked you to dance."

"DUDE...I'm really sorry, I'm just not..."

"Not what?"

"I'm sorry, Dude, okay?"

"You don't need to be sorry. I'm not here to talk, I'm here to DANCE."

and it goes on and on and ON until I'm extremely paranoid and feeling terrible.

He somehow finally goes away and I go back to my friends. Only now instead of feeling like a dancefloor badass I'm just feeling bad about myself and the dude is standing 3 feet away staring at me. Tommy notices that I've shut down and reverted into Overactive Brain Status, so he swoops me up and waltzes me around to '99 red baloons'. By the time the song is over, dude has (thankfully) moved.

I get over it and dance my fool ass off to a super 80's gay dance medley. About an hour later, here's dude again.

"You know, I just wanted to let you know that we're cool..."

I try to cut him off at the pass. "Great! I'm glad to hear it."

"But if you didn't want to dance, you should just say No thanks. A lot of girls don't say what they mean and I wanted to let you know that we're cool."

and he goes on and on and on like that. 'We're cool but you should say....' And in my head I'm thinking 'as soon as a girl expresses disinterest in your offer, allow her to say no politely -however she can get it out- and let it go. Don't come up and make her feel uncomfortable twice, asswad. I'll never get my groove back now.'

and I didn't. Buzzkill!

Posted by Sonya at May 6, 2005 08:58 AM