this imploding heart

I went out for a ride and I never went back.

A question that's been nagging at me for a year was magically and delightfully resolved last night. I got a telephone call from a young man I met in NY last summer. I'd had a little wonder-what crush on him, and I'd occasionally find myself wondering what would have happened if I had made certain choices differently.

So when he called and said he was in town, I got a little butterfly laden. I showered and dressed for the party I was planning to attend later, then walked down to his hotel. He was dapper and charming as always, and I had my first suspicion confirmed right away. He's on the path to matrimony, and not at all suitable for any of the scenarios I imagined him into.

We had a great time hanging out and shooting the shit, but the best part of the visit was was in my psyche. There's nothing more satisfying than answering your own 'I wonder what if?', particularly if the answer is 'nothin.'