In not feeding you, I find I barely know how or when to feed myself now. A friend invites me out for a hamburger and I discover that I'm famished because I've been waiting to eat without even realizing it. Letting things go bad in the fridge because I was saving them for our dinner.
I hope you're eating. but I don't dwell on that for too long. Know what I think about instead? I think about all the things that will become fun to do alone again. Going to shows alone will be more fun because the other option is staying home alone. Going to my parents alone will be more fun because the other option is being with nobody I love. Tele with the roomates, taking too long at the shop, reading.
This isn't coming out exactly right.
I don't mean that anything is better than being alone. I mean that the strange longing that comes with being *together* but apart-from-each-other will fade. The you-shaped hole in my chest that appeared when you stepped out for a newspaper and disappeared when you returned (hollering about the headlines) will heal over. It's the most sad and wonderful benefit.
Posted by Sonya at November 3, 2006 11:18 AMi wonder if you major in writing, or ever took classes in it, because you are very good at it..
and by that i mean that even though i don't know you any more than by what you write, i hope all is well.
Posted by: ryan at November 4, 2006 01:03 AMGo out, run, fly. Love can lock the doors, and in it's absence we turn the key to swim in it a little longer. Someone once told me to remember the good times. Cherish, stow and carry yourself out the door, window or portal and float. You damn well deserve it! :)
Posted by: P*E*B* at November 5, 2006 03:23 AM