I need to clean my room and register for classes. Write things on file folders. Kick myself for not taking care of that stock situation while the taking-care-of was good. Etc. Instead, I enchant you with semi-uninteresting tales of (enter horns and strings) TRASH CAN FIRES I'VE EXTINGUISHED OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS!!! (horns and strings reach a crescendo and cease.)
1: I took myself for a long walk downtown maybe Tuesday? Wednesday? last week. Last week for sure. I was going to meander from my house down to the ToPot (around which my life currently revolves, as it provides me with free coffee and sugar on demand), over to Denny, down to the statue in front of the 5 point and up Fifth ave to the downtown shop to drop off my food handlers permit.
I took special interest in a guy running a crane, and when he noticed me checking out his hot crane action, he kind of tried to step it up a notch.
(Apparently, stepping it up a notch in a crane is kind of impossible to do without fucking things up, so you just sit up really straight and drive with 2 hands instead of one. )
When I got down to that wildly shitty intersection at the bottom of Denny where I feel like I'm going to get killed no matter how I'm travelling, I stop for the 7 armed walk-light that takes and hour to change.
So I'm watching all the people walk from the gym back to work, avoiding the 7 panhandlers that occupy the intersections numerous and spacious corners, checking out the stupid sandals on the guy next to the smoking trashcan...
Smoking trashcan? SMOKE MEANS FIRE!
So I RACED into a phonebooth and changed into my Firemarshal Marsha! crimefighting unit, used my telescoping ladder to SAIL across the street, opened a hydrant and SOAKED THE ENTIRE BLOCK; effectively terminating the next Great Seattle Fire.
So I was glad I got the 16oz drip, because I honestly never want more than about 13.5 ounces. I waited for the light to change, walked over to the trash can, pulled out the not-on fire stuff, poured my coffee all over the bottom, and left.
2: It had rained a little and all the ashtrays were cold and dead. A guy had just come in with a mowhawk and a leather jacket and a ladykiller smile and said with the dumbest voice ever:
"Are those sugar cubes?"
"um...Yeah. Those are sugar cubes."
"These?"
"Yep. Those."
"So, do you sell those..like, by the box?...Uh....cause...This guy just gave me a bottle of Absinthe?..."
"Yeeeaahhhh. No. We don't. It's just for your coffee, or donuts. Which are the things we sell here."
"You don't?"
"You should go to the grocery store."
"Uh, little late for that."
--Please note, it was 10:30 and the grocery store is 3 blocks away and open 24-7.--
So, because my new motto is 'Let them do whatever they like', I gave him a paper bag and told him to take some. I did, however, insist that he go ahead and use the tongs.
So I'm outside consolidating ash and stacking trays and getting ready to close up when a couple comes in and orders giant coffees to stay. I dump the trays, wash my hands and make their food. I'm filling the mop bucket when I notice that it's really hazy all over all the sudden. And I smell burning trash and coffee grounds-smells.
TRASH CAN FIRE AT WORK!
I KARATE-FIRE-JUMPED to the fire extinguisher, pulled out the pin with my teeth like it was a grenade and grew FIRE-PROOF-SCALES all over my body. "You'll never extinguish me, Karate Fire Lizard Girl!" the trashcan fire screamed. "How did you know my name!?" I gasped, but I didn't wait for the answer. I hosed the burning rubbish until it was a giant trash bag of justice.
I did Karate Fire Jump, for sure. But more in a 'holyshitI'mgoingtoburnthecoffeeshopdownFUCK' kind of way. I dragged the trash can out back and filled it with water from the hose, then I kind of freaked out on the doughnut maker Fred when he showed up, but he assured me I'd done just fine.
TADA! Trashcan fires!
I had a day of good returned-home visitors yesterday. Patrickopie and AA just got back from Key West. AA came over after I got finished with my opening shift, and we shot the shit regarding groceries and how she always looks awesome in any hat. Any hat in the world.
AA had to run because she remembered that Patrickopie didn't have his housekeys. I walked her to the bus stop and ran into Patricko on the way back home. He was annoyed that he'd been locked out, but we went back to my house for anti-annoyance therapy and long discussions about long fish. He swam with nurse sharks! AA saw an octopus! I want to go to an island.
My parents took me out to dinner by special request a few hours later. They told me that 3 out of 5 of my step-grandfathers adult children were total shits who refused to sit with their dying father in any of the 6-12 hour shifts that my entire family had been taking, but were fortunate enough that one of the 3 total hours they spent at the hospital was one in which he died. My dad changed all the locks on my grandmothers house, but things were already missing from the shed when she got home. Mom and dad and I sat on the couch looking for new dad jobs after dinner.
"Dog walker!"
"Your mother can do that."
"Sawmill electrician, you don't want to do that anymore, right?"
"Nope."
"Hot young shirtless studs needed for promotions!"
(mom:) "Well I'm sure not doing that one for you."
I feel so honored to have a pleasant and reliable family.
I went to bed at 10. Cake came over after he got off of work at 1am to pick up something of his and say hello. I only half remember him coming over, but he left me a message that said "You were squnch-eyed like a kitten and so cute, all asleep and hugging. But then your nostrils got flared up and you pursed your lips really tight, so I figured it was time to go."
It's almost our 2 year anniversaryish. Who would'a thunk?
and in a few minutes, I'll have the great honor of being a witness at Trixie and Josh's piece of paper for the man wedding. Whee!
Oh man, you guys. This guy and girl ordered americanos at the shop, prepared their drinks, sat down and proceeded to make out FOR THREE HOURS. Then they got another drink and continued their makeout session for ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF. in a very busy coffee shop. They were still making out when I left.
Now, I'm all for puppy love and all that, but why don't you get a coffee to go, go to your own house, make out for 3 hours and then come back for a refill? Extended making out in public is weird.
I accidently melted an entire pizza into the bottom of Cake's new oven last night because I was trying to be extra careful and, as a result, fucked it up completely. I knew he was going to be mad and I knew I wouldn't be allowed to clean it up because he's anal and crazy. As a totally awesome alternative, I stood in the kitchen and sobbed uncontrollably. Then I continued to cry for another hour and a half.
On a positive note, I slept like a rock because of it.
A couple of months ago I decided something: No talking about quitting anything unless you're actually going to do it.
Anything, in this case, specifically included My Job, This Website, Wearing Dresses, and Dating Cake.
I'd like to note that, so far, I fucking hate this decision. I don't feel anywhere near as confident making a decision that I haven't talked about as I do making one I've discussed with a few people. Not that I take much advice or ever end up doing anything other than what I first thought of, but it's hard to make unsettling changes to something without putting some test signals out.
But putting something out to someone else often makes it a lot more real than I'm ready for it to be yet. I just want to take some things into consideration without having to backtrack if I decide they're not right for me. I know people say things and then do different things all the time, but this has always been a particular problem for me. I don't want to say something and later find out that it wasn't what I actually meant. No matter what people say, they always semi-believe the first thing you said, and remember the first thing you thought you were upset about. So I often just don't say anything at all.
And sometimes the only person I should really be talking to will make it way, way more real than it needs to be at present. So I guess my former decision was the right one. I need to back up from the donut case until I decide what I really want.
Apparently, if you go to food handlers permit training, the health department shows up for inspection the next day.
Too much bleach in the bleach water. I actually thought to myself: "This is way more than a tablespoon in way less than a gallon, but who's checking, right?"
The health department. That's who.
Last final tomorrow!
My mom is down in So. Idaho. Her oldest brother was taken off of life support and is subsequently deceased, so she went down for the funeral. The day after the funeral, my grandmother's husband of 30+ years passed. The funeral is Thursday. I'm nervous that 1...2... means 3, if you get my drift.
I'm probably not going to make any of the services, although I'd really like to see the other members of my family. I gave my presentation last night (to riotous applause. Everybody in my PNW history class is as geeked out on it as I am.) I'm walking downtown to get my food handlers permit today, after which I'm going to write a final paper and get started on my final exam prep.
I got my first paycheck from TpPt. It's the first time I've opened a sub 200 dollar paycheck in a long time. I knew it was coming, and I'm fine with it (the loan check also came recently), but it's still a kick in the pants.
I can't wait to tell you about the fight I saw directly followed by a guy in a bear suit. Finals first. Bear suit later.
It's been difficult to get my thoughts all up and running together lately, because my lifestyle has changed completely and my brain is still sort of scrambling around trying to make some kind of schedule out of it. I'm still waking up way later than I think I should and still having trouble forcing myself out of the house with all my new found free-time. And to tell you the truth, I spend a huge portion of that new 'free time' doing exactly what I said I was going to do: Homework.
The homework front of my life is pretty awesome lately, but probably not very interesting to read about. Here are the highlights:
I'm doing a research presentation on the old Annex building on 4th avenue. As a result of this, I went down to the library and ended up spending 5 hours totally engrossed in the new 'Seattle Room', which is all old local maps, phone directories, books, weekly magazines and independent writings about my lovely home.
My research has got me seriously thinking about the role of social dancing in US culture, how it's changed courting into dating, and how dating has severely decreased it's eventual influence on our lives. The wars and mobility are all a part of this as well, of course, but the change from town hall dances to commercial dance clubs is suprisingly well documented in Municipal meetings and newspapers from all over the country. I spent hours reading old copies of a 4 by 6 inch magazine called 'Marquee' from the late 20's through the 40's. Dancing and ice skating are huge.
I'm going to a Black and White Ball on Saturday night (diamonds or pearls only, please), and I wish i had the funds to buy the fabric for the dress I imagined for myself, which has a very ballerina thing going on on bottom and a very punk rock thing going on top, all in white with black slippers and a black mask. I don't know what I'll do instead, but luckily I have at least 3 white and 2 black formals on hand already.
and the doughnut shop is still awesome. I'm going for a walk.
Freakin Sweet! I scalded myself at work tonight and my hands are black and disgusting around the nails by the time I'm finished and this job is still SO MUCH MORE KICKASS-SWEET than my old one. 8 hours go by and feel like 3 and a half and then at the end I get free money from a can.
I need some new music, but I only want to spend my free money on a few completely excellent selections. Any suggestions?
AND I got on the radio today.
I worked on my frisbee skills today.
Obviously this is why people who went to college are generally better at frisbee, hackey sack, and video games. Daytime availability. It's been dark and crappy out for most of my free time over the last 5 years. And generally, I'm inappropriately dressed for running around and diving into the grass. (but I'll usually do it anyway. This is why most of the people I know and many people I don't have seen my ass a few times at least.)
A portion of Camp Vassar invited me out with a new lady friend today. Its just in the last few years of my life that I've gotten over my insecurities about being super-awkward in athletic endeavors and started joining in on games. My throwing/catching skills are shaky at best, and it takes me 15 minutes of warmup to get to the point where I can direct a frisbee or baseball with some kind of accuracy. Minutes 1-15 are filled with "Ooh. Sorry. Sorry Andrew! I'll get it more than 15 feet next time." But I love playing baseball catch, and I desperately want to be successful at frisbee. So I've started asking for help.
We'd been playing frisbee for 45 minutes or so, the girls making a valliant effort, and the boys looking good without trying. Jerks.
I noticed that the boys could flip the frisbee with their fingers, and it flew straight and smooth.
"What is your whatsit with that? I want to do that."
"This?"
"That."
So Andrew showed me how to flip it with my middle finger and stabilize it with my pointer. Andrew spent 10 minutes running after my warmup throws, but then I got it down to catching and throwing with one hand in a smooth motion.
"I'M FREAKING AWESOME! ....oh. Whoops. Sorry Andrew!"
I'm learning all kinds of shit these days. Just wait till you see my pacific northwest history project. It's gonna be freakin sweet.
I was 3 minutes from closing when he rolled in. Drunk, old, beligerent, and after a hot chocolate and some donuts. He must be regular, because he has a full drink card. I ring him all the way through and he hands me a credit card to pay. I don't really know how to ring a drink card and a credit card at the same time, and the screen I'm in won't let me move without charging him the full amount.
"Just a moment sir."
"Heh heh. Hit it! Heh." He reaches over as if he's going to hit it for me. I ninja-block him with his credit card. "Unplug it!" he reaches, I block.
"Sorry, sir. this'll just be a sec."
"Heh heh heh. I'm actually enjoying watching you struggle."
and I just stop dead. Hand the guy his card and his drink and his donuts and say "Have a nice night, sir. This one's on us." Beacuse it's donuts. No one is going to yell at me. No one is going to sick sarbanes-oaxley on me. I don't have to be nice and accurate at the same time anymore.