"Yet there is death in this business of whaling-- a speechlessly quick chaotic bundling of man into Eternity. Methinks we have hugely mistaken this matter of Life and Death. Methinks that what they call my shadow here on earth is my true substance. Methinks that in things Spiritual, we are too much like oysters observing the sun through the water, and thinking that thick water is the thinnest of air."
The thing I notice right away about riding a bicycle is the muscles around my spine. I can feel the very center of my back getting stronger, and it makes me think I'm growing like a plant in the sun! I'm photosynthesizing!
Oh poop. I know I'm not. I'm pedaling and pedaling and turning all that fruit into body. All that pizza into pedaling.
"Methinks my body is but the less of my better being. In fact take my body who will, take it I say, it is not me."
I used to agree with Ishmael. Shake off this body, please. But the more I think about cells and growth and pudding and swimming, the more attatched my shadow and my body grow.
All I really really want our love to do
is to bring out the best in me and in you too
I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause--Life is our cause
When I think of your kisses my mind see-saws
Do you see-do you see-do you see
how you hurt me baby
So I hurt you too
then we both get so blue. (J. Mitchell)
Oh, lovely. Some dear friends were wed in a ceremony completely devoid of photographs and entirely etched in my memory forever yesterday. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Each and the Other.
Mr. Other's parents sang a duet! It was a most fabulous parent moment, and afterward, Mr. Other's mom gave me a hug and kiss. Awesome!
Mrs. Each's family arrived in full force, and I realized that I knew all of them (save one) fairly well. The Mrs.' people are some of my favorites, and I felt so fortunate to be able to participate in a day of intimate happiness with such a freaking talented, inspiring, diverse and connected family. Thanks, Fambily!
Here's to the good ones.
Hey Hey! I turned in 2 big projects and sold my books today! Astronomy test on Tuesday and then it's yoga, health and painting all summer long.
Like...those are my classes. Yoga, Health and Painting. I saved up my fun ones for last. Too bad I can only draw stage diagrams and dinosaurs in formal clothes, and I only eat ice cream and raw meat. Yo-ga! Yo-ga!
In other news, second weekend of travel to remote destination for a graduation this weekend. I'm betting that there will be more pasta salad and more paper plates. Perhaps some discussion about why the constitution is/ is not a good place to bicker about who God wants us to be, and why no one in my family should ever forward me anything. Can't Wait!
I think I've brought it up before: I'm tenderhearted.
Who needs to cover it? Somebody was a crazy bitch jerk and used some really strong and specific words at me, loudly, in front of a lot of people, completely out of the blue. I switched on my quiet customer service manner and tried to sort it out, but it was a case of 'that bitch is nuts'. And nuts bitches don't want to dialogue.
As soon as it was over, I knew I should let it go. I opened up my muscles and relaxed my throat and tried to let it float out of my body while still pumping out the product and serving the people who just watched me get completely berated. No one said anything, just smiled timidly, tilted heads, and -in that completely Seattle way of saying without saying- said whoa. that was...whoa.
A few hours later, one of my best and kindest customers asked how I was doing, and told me that he was hurting all over after his day. I told him that I was also sore, but it was just my feelings.
"No less significant an ache" he replied.
Which made a big difference. Same as scalding myself. Same as knocking my legs on the table. Just a little scratch, forgive it and it will heal.
When I got home, instead of imagining all the brilliant biting comebacks that usually come with being poorly understood, I imagined that the nuts bitch and I apologized to each other and recognized each other as sisters. My spirit animal -who I hadn't seen in months- hovered by the window a moment, visited my flowers, then flew away.