I am absolutely without question the most pathetic romantic on the planet. I say this because I actually made myself heartsick yesterday. I felt as though I had a fever and my stomach was in knots. And it was all just that I had worked myself up into a repressed frenzy over something that does not even exist. Sad.
I'll call him Ishmael. Because it amuses me. For some reason recently (meaning about a year ago) I realized that I was desperately in love with this poor fellow. Now, because I'm not blind and stupid, I know that he does not now nor ever has felt anything similar for me. So there's this dillema. What do I do? It's much much harder to get over something that is not happening or has not happened than something that has. So I have this intense desire to make something happen. Like confess my deepest feelings or something really really entertaining like that. See but again I realize that this has nothing to do with Ishmael really and for me to do this would be simply selfish. I would get this thing off of my chest and he would feel terrible. At least that's my projection. He would feel awkward around me and, knowing him, guilty, like somehow it's his fault that I'm so...I dunno... INSANE.
I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. I'm honestly usually fairly uncomplicated in my feelings for others. My complicatedness gets taken care of in other ways. So if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this whole rediculous unrequited thing Dear God let me know.
Is there like a tea I can drink? If I walk three times around my house widdershins? Anything? Anything at all?
Throw a rock through his window. If he doesn't call the cops, he's yours.
Posted by: benlau at August 2, 2004 03:59 PMSeriously, though. The question you have to ask yourself is: "If I tell him, how will it affect our relationship as it stands?" It does sound like you're projecting your worst assumptions onto the situation (that he'll reject you), but there's rejection, and there's REJECTION. If he's a good friend, will telling him really change things that much?
You know, guys can be pretty dumb about this sort of thing, so there's always a good chance he'll be, "you know, I feel sort of the same way, but I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to make YOU feel uncomfortable" or some such.
I'm not sayin' that WILL happen, but I think the odds are probably better he'd do that, than he'd run away screaming "COOTIES!!!" at the top of his lungs...
Posted by: KING COMTE I at August 3, 2004 01:18 PMYeah, um, actually I think the Cooties thing is a pretty strong possibility. However I've never considered the magical properties of a rock through someone's window. Hmmmm. Thinking thinking thinking...
Posted by: Jennifer at August 3, 2004 05:00 PM