So something has happened to me. Perhaps its that I'm old. Perhaps its that I've know the people I know now for too long, but people think they can say whatever they want to me. Sometimes this is irritating. Because I know if I said the same shit to them, I'd get all kinds of flack for it. All kinds. SO here's something true that has been happening with a great deal of frequency lately and its irritating to me:
Men I know and have known for a long time, some gay, some straight, some married, some single will make extremely sort of flirting sexual comments to me about me. One example (you know who you are so don't feel bad about this because I never say anything about it) a friend of mine the other day on the phone called me "a luscious little morsel." OK that's nice right? Sure I have no problem with that, but it's gotten pretty intense. It seems like all my male friends are saying things like that to me. Which while flattering also is sort of driving me nuts. I haven'd had sex with anyone for a long time. I haven't dated anyone for more than like two dates in four years. None of the people saying these things to me is in any way remotely interested in dating me at all. So some days it's like GAH! I KNOW that these same men, if women were to do this to them would start to feel trod upon. Teased and not taken seriously. Frustrated and emasculated. Well, guess what fellas? We're not so different you and I. It's started to make me feel, uhm, ridiculous. Like I'm someone they can practice their pick up lines on and it won't matter. Like I don't have a sex drive, or desires, or a need for companionship and love. I'm starting to feel like people are messing with me. Which I don't like. I don't tend towards paranoia, so it's pretty unpleasant.
I don't even know if this is a problem. Really. I mean my friends just like me and want to say nice things to me and that's it. I'm probably just feeling a little lonely right now so it's harder for me to take these little gems as just kindnesses. I guess I want someone to want me that I want to want me and that isn't married or gay or unavailable for some other reason, and being told I'm pretty and sexy by people who are unavailable is just tweaking me out. Got it. Okay I think I'm all better now.
Compliment away guys.
Posted by jlp716 at September 22, 2004 12:15 PMWhich is precisely why I try to be on my best behavior around women; with so much static in the air signals are easily garbled, to the point they can be completely misread at the receiving end. I'm all for flirting, but geez -- why don't some people get it that sometimes the flirtee doesn't see it as "harmless fun"?
So, I know how you feel -- it's one of the frustrating things about being a good 10+ years older than nearly all the women in my social sphere.
Posted by: KING COMTE I at September 22, 2004 02:34 PMI knew the Comte would understand. Long Live King Comte I
Posted by: jtothep at September 22, 2004 11:04 PMHuh.
Posted by: Joshua at September 23, 2004 09:19 AMIf it's any consolation -- not that it would be or anything, I'm just saying -- if the "luscious little morsel" guy is who I think it is (and he usually is), he most likely meant it absolutely sincerely and almost totally non-sexually. I mean, he sometimes misses that sort of implication.
Posted by: mol at September 23, 2004 10:01 AMRight which is what I'm talking about. No one means anything by anything. Which, when you're feeling deprived, can make you a little nuts. But you know. It's all right.
Posted by: JtotheP at September 23, 2004 11:24 AMOh and Shut Up Norton.
Posted by: JtotheP at September 23, 2004 11:24 AMRight. I'm commiserating on the "sometimes misses that sort of implication" which "can make you a little nuts."
Posted by: mol at September 23, 2004 01:31 PMYou know, it just hit me what I should be doing here; I'm pointing my compliments in the wrong direction. Next time I'm thinking of saying something like, "Your hair looks nice today, Ms. Pratt," what I sould actually do is get the attention of the nearest cute guy and say, "Hey, doesn't Jen's hair look nice? Yeah. She's single, you know. Hot, huh? Yeah. Short girls, man: yum! The hitting and kicking thing? No, as far as I know I'm the only one she does that to. I'm not sure what causes it. But isn't she cute when she's angry? You should go out with her, man. Get her number when she calms down."
Posted by: Joshua at September 24, 2004 11:16 AMOh and thanks for publishing my name Joshua. Very slick.
Posted by: JtotheP at September 28, 2004 10:29 AMYou know you can edit that comment, right?
I didn't know you were *not* publishing your name. I'd assumed you were just trying to be "down" as the kids say.
Posted by: Joshua at September 29, 2004 01:10 PMI know Norton. I'm just rattling your cage. Because I can. Because "You Can Take It".
hehehe.
Posted by: JtotheP at September 29, 2004 01:44 PMam cool
Posted by: peace opoku gyasi at May 13, 2005 01:30 PM