Asleep. Dreaming fitfully. Awaking every couple of seconds it seems like, gasping, hand over my heart. Laying down, looking at the back of M's head. Touching the back of his neck. Waiting to fall asleep. M wakes me every morning by kissing my neck. I'm a light sleeper. So is he. If I kiss his neck now he'll wake up and he's so darling when he's sleeping. Awake he is an angel. Asleep he is a slumbering dragon, radiating heat and darkness. And then suddenly I slip. I slip out of myself. It hasn't happened since I went on that supid astral projection trip two years ago. But here I am, half my soul sinking into the matress, a two inch dislocation from my waking body. I roll over, hoping this will slip me back in but I fall out completely and am sinking into the floor now underneath the bed. I'm not panicking. Yet. I remember that I'm supposed to do something, like think "up" or imagine myself as a ball of light, but I kind of don't want to. Sinking into the floor seems like a good idea right now, plus I don't want to get thrown back into my body just yet by making any sudden decisions.
The astral world is so pretty. Pretty in a very disturbing way. Lights and auras and shapes floating around. Really,it can be quite upsetting. Like the high pitched voices of an angel choir. Peircing, loud, exquisite and terrifying. But you know what? I'm tired. More than anything I'm just fucking tired so it's time to get back. Back to myself and my little tiny body completely invisible under my quilts. The will the concentration the wooshing sound and I'm back. Eye's open staring at M's neck. Except not. Because M is gone.
Of course, if it were a science fiction story this would be because you accidentally time travelled.
Posted by: Joshua at November 15, 2004 03:01 PM