August 16, 2006

God save the

Watching a show on restaurants a fellow said "We have served the Queen and Prime Minister of Canada."

I know what you're thinking: "There is no Queen of Canada!"

So I've decided to be the Queen of Canada. And in my capacity as figurehead I have to order that there shall be something the world has never known. Canadian Quisine.

A perfect Canadian dish consists of savory Calgary whole wheat flap jacks drenched in white Yukon Caribou sausage gravy. On the side is a darling bowl of Israeli couscous (the kind with those big bursting plump beads) soaked and then fried in Moose back bacon (a dish named after the most famous Candian Jew, as in "I'll take scrambled eggs and a side of Shatner."). For a desert we'll have a gooseberry tart with a thin layer of Saskatoon farm cheese whipped lightly with maple sugar on top, softening the tart flavor of the intractable gooseberry with a light fluffy yet rich creamy sweet topping. All of this served in minute servings with a tiny glazed flute of Molson reduction to dip anything in as you please.

Posted by jlp716 at August 16, 2006 10:01 PM
Comments

I'm guessing the fellow was referring to the fact that, up until 1982 when Canada formally declared independence, it was a member of the Commonwealth of Nations under the British Empire, and so was technically ruled by the Royal Family of Britain until that time.

But, be that as it may, I think your declaration makes perfect sense: if Emperor Norton can be the "Protector of Mexico", why shouldn't you stake a claim to sovereignity over Canada?

And I will henceforth display my fealty by always referring to any pork-based food product of Canadian origin as "a side of Shatner"...

Posted by: COMTE at August 17, 2006 11:59 AM

You know, I was thinking about commenting on this and being, like, "Actually, the Queen of England is still technically the Queen of Canada," but then I thought, "Oh come now, Joshua, surely Comte authored a detailed comment on the subject within seconds of this thing having been posted."

But what do I find?

I am shocked-- SHOCKED, I tell you --to find that this post sat here with no comments for almost 14 hours before Comte gave us the 411 on the Queen thing.

Yer slip'n, dude. Slip. 'N.

Posted by: Joshua at August 20, 2006 05:42 PM

All I have to say is the restaurant has only been open since 1999. And he's not old enough to be all you know old about it.

Interestingly, William Shatner is being roasted on TV tonight. Roasts apparently consist of a lot of unimaginitive jokes that basically are "William Shatner is fat! George Takei is gay! Farah Fawcett is batshit crazy! I'm so funny! Ahahahaha."

Boring. I'll take a side of Shatner now. Right up Andy Dick's ass.

Posted by: JtotheP at August 20, 2006 11:22 PM

...and it took Josh almost six hours to find Comte's comment and flame it. Slip. 'N. Dude.

There is a Queen of Canada.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_in_Canada

I knew this because my friend was involved in a class-action lawsuit (for a debilitating viral infection contracted due to poor sanitation -- maybe it was the side of Shatner? -- at a Canadian restaurant) and Elizabeth II was named as a defendant. Truly.

Posted by: molly at August 25, 2006 05:48 PM